🚗 Cryptid Caravan

Accessible. Intentional. Ours.

Some people inherit travel traditions.
I inherited survival instincts.

For a long time, I thought adventure belonged to healthier people. People whose joints stayed where they put them. People who could wake up, throw a bag in the car, and leave without calculating pain levels, medication timing, recovery days, hydration needs, sensory overload, and whether the nearest hotel had an elevator that actually worked.

Then we got the Jeep back.

Something I didn’t think was going to happen…

Until one Tuesday in May when it actually did.

And somewhere between medical appointments, mobility aids, emergency snacks, caffeine-fueled route planning, and the growing realization that my body was changing faster than my expectations could keep up with, something shifted.

I stopped asking whether I was disabled enough to stay home.

And started asking what adventure could look like for me instead.

Because adventure is not about distance.

It’s about intention.

Cryptid Caravan is my ongoing commitment to doing more.
More day trips.
More coffee pilgrimages.
More thrift store exploration.
More “yes, even if it takes planning.”

Some adventures require spreadsheets.
Some require wheelchairs.
Some require compression gear and electrolyte packets and strategic recovery days afterward.

And some require leaving the service dog at home because loving her means protecting her peace.

Disabled adventure is still adventure.

And I think we deserve to see more of it.

🚗 Meet the Caravan

The official Cryptid Caravan vehicle is a Mojave Orange 2019 Jeep Renegade Trailhawk, which looks less like a sensible SUV and more like a pumpkin-colored cryptid with all-wheel drive.

Which is exactly why she is aptly named The Great Pumpkin™

After stretches of being homebound, dependent on rides, or trapped inside the exhausting logistics of chronic illness, getting the Renegade back feels less like acquiring transportation and more like reclaiming a compass.

This Jeep carries:

• mobility aids
• emergency medications
• iced coffee
• emotional support snacks
• approximately twelve charging cables
• at least one blanket at all times
• and occasionally the crushing weight of my overambitious road trip spreadsheets

🚗 Caravan Rig Stats

Alignment: Chaotic Prepared
Special Ability: Surviving Midwestern potholes and emotional breakdowns
Current Mods: Disabled-friendly organization systems and enough cupholders to sustain civilization
Fuel Type: Gasoline and determination

🎒 Caravan Essentials

Travel looks different when your body requires strategy.

This isn’t minimalist backpacking content. This is “prepared for anything including a surprise migraine in rural Wisconsin” content.

Mobility & Access

• Cane
• Walker depending on terrain and distance
• Wheelchair depending on terrain and distance
• Braces and compression gear, subject to swelling and change

Medical Supplies

• Daily medications
• Emergency medications
• Electrolyte packets
• Safe foods
• Ice packs/heating pads
• Migraine management supplies

Sensory & Comfort

• Sunglasses
• Ear protection
• Cooling towels
• Backup clothes
• Chargers for literally everything

🐾 Luna’s Travel Kit

When Luna joins the expedition:

• cooling gear
• settle mat or blankie
• collapsible water bowl
• emergency vet information
• enrichment items for downtime
• extra food and treats

Responsible service dog handling means understanding that not every outing is fair to ask of her.

And that matters.

🧭 The Roadmap

Legend

🔮 Dreaming
🚧 Planning
✅ Completed
🐾 Luna Approved
🌙 Off-Duty Adventure

♿ Spoon Scale

🍴 1 Spoon – Minimal energy required
🍴🍴 2 Spoons – Light pacing required
🍴🍴🍴 3 Spoons – Moderate planning and recovery needed
🍴🍴🍴🍴 4 Spoons – Strategic rest required
🍴🍴🍴🍴🍴 5 Spoons – Full expedition mode. Recovery mandatory.

Recovery time is not weakness. It’s maintenance.

🐾 Would Luna Approve?

🐾 1 Paw – Not service dog friendly
🐾🐾 2 Paws – Likely stressful
🐾🐾🐾 3 Paws – Manageable with caution
🐾🐾🐾🐾 4 Paws – Comfortable working conditions
🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾 5 Paws – Excellent for service dogs

A lower paw rating does not mean a place is bad. It means responsible handlers assess what is fair.

I’ll make sure to include detailed explanations in future trip write-ups so readers understand why each location received its rating.

The Cryptid Caravan Accessibility Scale

Because “accessible” can mean anything from fully accommodating to “there’s technically a ramp behind the dumpster.”

🛣️ 4/4 – Smooth Sailing

Clear pathways. Legitimate accessible parking. Elevators or ramps where needed. Staff who understand disability access without making it a whole thing. Thoughtfully designed spaces instead of reluctant afterthoughts.

🌤️ 3/4 – Mostly Navigable

Minor barriers, but manageable with planning. Tight turns, heavy doors, limited seating, or small inconveniences that don’t completely derail the experience.

🌲 2/4 – Call Ahead First

Significant barriers or inconsistent accommodations. Stairs, cramped layouts, questionable ADA compliance, or unclear accessibility information.

🪨 1/4 – Rough Terrain

Major accessibility concerns requiring substantial effort, backup plans, or additional assistance.

🚫 0/4 – Turn Around

Unsafe conditions. Health hazards. Accessibility failures that compromise disabled travelers’ safety or dignity.

We deserve better than survival mode vacations.

🔮 Dreaming & Planning

🦴 Pokémon Fossil Museum – Chicago

Status: 🚧 Planning
Estimated Spoons: 🍴🍴🍴
Luna Status: TBD

Real paleontology meets fictional fossil Pokémon. Ancient bones beside childhood joy.

This feels like the perfect first Cryptid Caravan stop because fossils are proof that things endure.

Not only that, but it’s the 30th anniversary of Pokémon and their first stop outside of Japan.

Reality Check

Museums require pacing strategy, seating awareness, elevator access, and frequent hydration breaks.

Cryptid Notes

If I cry over a fossilized Pokémon exhibit, mind your damn business. I’m a 90’s baby. This is my childhood. Okay? Okay.

🐠 Shedd Aquarium – Chicago

Status: 🚧 Planning
Estimated Spoons: 🍴🍴🍴🍴
Luna Status: TBD

Water tunnels. Low lighting. Sharks overhead.

The wheelchair is absolutely making an appearance here. Your ghoul is not attempting this one entirely on foot. Especially with surgery coming up in July.

It’s been years since I’ve gone to the Shedd Aquarium, and this time I want to experience it without worrying whether my legs are going to stage a union strike halfway through.

Reality Check

Large crowds, sensory overload, and long walking distances could escalate this into a high-recovery outing quickly.

Cryptid Notes

Stingrays possess the exact emotional energy of forbidden ravioli.

🌊 Wisconsin Dells & House on the Rock.

Status: 🔮 Dreaming
Estimated Spoons: 🍴🍴🍴🍴
Luna Status: 🌙 Off Duty Likely

Family nostalgia. Splashy chaos. Midwestern rite of passage.

Disabled adults still get to do silly things.

Growing up, we used to go to the Wilderness Resort for my birthdays as a teen, and I still think about those trips constantly.

I also heard they’re opening a D&D themed resort this year, which frankly sounds engineered in a laboratory specifically to lure nerds like me directly into financial ruin.

Reality Check

Heat intolerance, mobility fatigue, slippery surfaces, and overstimulation all need careful planning here. Especially with a surgery coming in July. That sounds like a nightmare in disguise.

But I’ve never been to House on the Rock and I’d love to go.

☕ Door County, WI

Status: 🔮 Dreaming
Estimated Spoons: 🍴🍴🍴
Luna Status: 🐾 Likely

Coffee pilgrimage. Tree tunnels. Lake air.

Home of Door County Coffee & Tea Co..

Luna says to bring her ball.

Cryptid Notes

This trip has strong “buy too many candles and become emotionally attached to a local bakery” energy.

⚜️ New Orleans

Status: 🔮 Dreaming
Estimated Spoons: 🍴🍴🍴🍴
Luna Status: Situational

Coffee. Cemeteries. Literary pilgrimage.

Because what ghoul doesn’t want to go?

I keep joking that I’m either going to run into Lestat de Lioncourt or find a voodoo queen capable of explaining what exactly my connective tissue thinks it’s doing.

Either way, I probably won’t leave disappointed.

Reality Check

Heat, humidity, uneven sidewalks, crowds, and sensory overload mean this one requires military-grade pacing.

✅ Completed Adventures

Adventures that made it from spreadsheet to steering wheel.

🏔 Salt Lake City, Utah

Date: 2022
Spoons Used: 🍴🍴🍴🍴
Recovery Time: A week and a half

In April 2022, M&M and I launched what would become the very first chapter of Cryptid Caravan.

What started as a drive from Illinois to Winnipeg to scoop her up evolved into a full-blown two-country expedition that carried us all the way to Salt Lake City.

We rebuilt the Renegade with equal parts determination and chaos, pointed it west, and kept driving.

It was my first real road trip.
My first time booking hotels independently.
My first time navigating mountain passes.
My first vacation without family.

We swam inside a geothermal crater, ate shabu shabu hotpot, saw our favorite band live, and packed every possible experience into one unforgettable stretch of highway.

The drive home tested us with wildfire detours that nearly doubled our travel time, but we made it back changed in all the ways that matter.

Already dreaming about the next horizon.

Accessibility Notes

At the time of this trip, I was not yet using my cane full time and did not rely on mobility aids the way I do now. I also did not have Luna yet. My needs have changed significantly since then, and parts of this experience would look very different today.

Homestead Crater required stairs and vertical ladders that were not particularly mobility friendly at the time. Accessibility may have improved since 2022, so I recommend contacting them directly for updated accommodations.

One hotel failed to honor our requested accessible room and had severe issues including black mold. Thankfully, we secured a refund and relocated.

The second hotel was significantly more accessible and supportive, with a spacious room layout and proper accommodations.

The concert venue itself was also accessible and comfortable.

As always, accessibility changes over time. Always verify accommodations directly before booking.

Recovery Log

The body took a week and a half to recover.
The soul recovered something too.

🐾 Luna & Road Trip Ethics

Luna Bean is a medical alert service dog.

She is my partner, not my accessory.

Some trips she will attend because she is needed.
Some she will skip because protecting her wellbeing matters more than appearances.

Responsible adventure means understanding that working dogs are still living creatures with limits, stress thresholds, and needs of their own.

And loving her properly means respecting that.

🚗 The Caravan Fleet

The Great Pumpkin™

2019 Mojave Orange Jeep Renegade Trailhawk

Accessibility Disclaimer

These ratings reflect my body, my mobility, and my needs at the time of each trip.

Bodies change.
Access changes.
Policies change.

Always confirm accommodations directly with locations before booking.

Disabled travelers deserve spaces that are safe, honest, and genuinely accessible.

And if a venue’s idea of accessibility involves a mysterious side entrance next to a leaking dumpster, I will absolutely be reporting back accordingly.