I just might be the queen of last-minute decisions and biting off more than I can chew…
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(Also, just a quick disclaimer this post contains sensitive topics included mental health, mental illness, cancer, and generalized anxiety. Please don’t read on if any of those things will trigger you.)
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Let me explain. I’d originally planned for this blog to be a writing/brain dump/digidiary of some sort to help me organize my thoughts and keep sane with Covid-19 and my mother’s death looming over me like a dark, vengeful entity hellbent on ruining my life, and up until now, I’ve kind of succeeded in shoving that off to the side and trying to forget about it.
Because I do not want to do any of those things. I do not want to admit that the world is being overrun by a virus, and I do not want to admit that my mom is gone, and that I’ll never see her again. Those are things that I just do not want to think about. Denial, who, me?
But now, I don’t know if I really have much of a choice. I feel like I need to talk to someone and speaking one-on-one to other people is just not working for me. Showing enough anger or acting devoid of emotions entirely is one hell of a way to get people to leave you alone when you do not want to talk.
I’m hoping that this blog will be a good outlet for me but, only time will tell.
-S.N.L
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