In Memory…

Yesterday was hard.

Yesterday was ridiculously hard. I spent the better part of the afternoon at work and at war with myself, trying to figure out whether or not I should post anything at all, much less my last post. I think it might have surprised everyone, me included.

Yesterday was the Fourth of July, and to a lot of Americans that means barbeques, fireworks, and spending time with family and friends. With Covid-19 still upon us, that also means that a lot of people parades, barbeques, and family gatherings were cancelled. Part of me wishes that mine had been because yesterday, on the Fourth of July- 111 days, 3 months, and 16 weeks ago my mother died.

So to celebrate her life my family had a small get together with food and fireworks to honor her memory, and it was hard. For those who knew my mom, they knew that one of her favorite things to do was make a huge spread, get as many fireworks as we could, and put on one hell of a show. So, that’s what we did.

Me, Maria (my best friend of 15-years), my grandmother, my brothers, and my brother’s girlfriend spent the evening in the backyard watching the fireworks the neighbor set off and setting off our own. Sure, not everyone who said they were coming showed up (and in the final note she left behind my mother said that if we did have a service that they wouldn’t- “I told you so” hits a LOT harder from beyond the grave, that’s for damn sure.) but she was there, in our memories and our hearts.

I just wish she were actually here, and I know I’m not the only one.

So, here are some of my favorite shots from last night.