I think this goes without saying but 2020 has been a hard year for me and my family, and for a lot of people really, if I’m being honest. But, I’d be lying if I said that I’ve been doing everything in my power lately not to make this post.
Everything that I possibly can to hold myself together, not to freak out, and not to put my thoughts into writing- which for me, is weird. Almost all that I am is writing; for most of my life, if something is bothering me, hurting me, or was stressing me out, I would write about it. That’s just who I am, and what I do.
However, I feel like if I write about the things that are going on in my life right now- my grandma, the tumor in her brain, her car, my car, or anything revolving around those topics, it’ll become real. And I don’t want it to be real.
I don’t want to think about it, any of it. Because, I know that while the doctor ma believe that this is a benign meningioma, and will be cured if they can get it all out, the other possibility is that this is the same illness that stole my mother from me. Cancer. So, last night, I finally broke down and took it upon myself to make a GoFundMe page, something that I never thought I was going to have to do because, while I might still be working, I know that my paycheck alone won’t be enough to take care of us while she’s out of work and recovering from brain surgery, much less get her car fixed up as well- if it can even be fixed.
She got a phone call this morning from the mechanic that has the car saying that it’s totaled. They think it’ll cost almost $12,000 to fix. Of course, before we accept that as a real answer, we’re going to get a second opinion. And maybe a third, and a fourth, and however many it takes until we get a livable answer.
I grew up watching old movies in the 90’s. One of my favorites has always been The Goonies. And you know what? Goonies never say die. And from here on out neither do we.
So, with the weight of the world crashing down around us, I figured how better to spend our last night before surgery than to bake some double-chocolate chip fudge brownies, and then decorate them to look like the book from one of her favorite movies, Hocus Pocus? We also made an apple crumble, and for dinner tonight we’ll be having pulled pork sandwiches on onion buns, and I’m hoping to rope her into watching Halloweentown with me.
From there, I guess we’ll play it by ear. Tomorrow morning, I need to have her at the hospital by 10:30a.m. and that’s where she’ll stay for 3-4 days should all things go well. I’ll keep you updated as much as I can, and if you could possibly share my GoFundMe link, I would be eternally grateful.
https://www.gofundme.com/f/grandma039s-expenses-while-healing-brain-tumor
Thank you.
-S.N.L
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