Accountability.

          Today I have none.

          Today I have nothing.

          I don’t have the will to get up. I’ve had both too much sleep and not enough. I don’t have the will to drive to work but I have to. I haven’t eaten since yesterday but I’m not hungry. I made hot tea but now it’s cold, undrunk, alone on the table.

          It’s like me.

          No will to be anymore than we already are. Cold. Alone. And maybe a little bit lonely. But today, I have nothing to fix it. Today is just a day where I’m a little sad, and I have to let myself feel it. If I don’t, it’ll just come back again with a vengeance and I’ll need to feel it that much more.

          I’m sad today.

          I miss my mom.

          I miss myself.

          I miss the way I used to be able to sit down and let the words flow out of me like a waterfall.

          I miss the way I used to be able to devour a 500-page book in 8-hours or less. Escaping into other worlds inside myself, when I needed a break from all of this.

          I’m sad today.

          I’m lost today.

          Maybe tomorrow won’t hurt so much.

          -Sky