Lately I’ve been feeling… and I’m not entirely sure if that’s better or worse than how I was before. March 15th marked the one-year anniversary of my mom dying, and since then I’ve been feeling numb. But something interesting happened… I went out with my Grandmother this past Tuesday.
We went to an Asian market called Mitsuwa about 45-minutes away from where we live, and you know what? It was a lot of fun. For the first time in awhile I was laughing and talking, and I didn’t feel so… heavy. I think that’s a symptom of depression that no one really talks about. They talk about feeling tired, and the crying but, they don’t tell you that it feels like every step you take, you have cement blocks strapped to your feet.
That you want to do things but you just feel so… heavy.
We spent over two hours in the store, looking at everything. Produce, sake, fresh meat, tinned foods, and tea, and ramen noodles. And you know what? It was fun. It was something me and Mom would’ve done together. Something Angel and I would’ve done together, and plan to do the next time she’s here because it was so big, and there was so much to see.
That night after we went home with all of the things we bought, and I made homemade wonton soup from scratch for the first time in my life… and it was good. It was better than the wonton soup that I love from China City. The broth was rich with spices, cabbage, and enoki mushrooms, the wontons that I made with savory pork filling, and topped with fresh green onions.
I was so proud of myself.
Things are hard but, I’m trying to feel better.
-Sky
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