Accountability.

          Now, that’s a scary concept, isn’t it? Being held accountable for your actions, and sometimes mistakes, can be an extremely uncomfortable thing. It’s also something that I don’t have much of lately.

          I promised to write more, and I didn’t.

          I promised to write more blog posts, and I didn’t.

          I had no one sitting there with a cattle prod, pushing me along, and forcing me to keep going when I wanted to give up and stop. I had no one to keep, and hold me accountable to myself, to you, or to what few followers I have out there across my social media platforms watching me flop around like a fish out of water when it comes to this writing thing I’ve gotten myself into.

          And I’m sorry. I say that a lot, I apologize a lot, and I know that it comes from the same place as my anxiety. It comes from the same place that tells me I need to sit down and rest, and let myself breathe, and then I can’t because I know I haven’t accomplished my goals. It’s the answer to the question that is both yes and no. It is the depression that is in every breath I take… and I know that I’m not the only one struggling amidst the current pandemic but, I’d be lying if I said that it wasn’t hard on me.

So, I’ve come to you once again, seeking accountability.

Because I don’t feel like I can do this on my own. I don’t trust myself enough to keep up with this on my own, unless I reach out to all of you, and say that I’m doing it before I actually take the plunge. So, every week, though I’m not sure on what day, I’m going to be posting a new chapter to my new Wattpad project called Who Wants to Live forever? Hopefully the first chapter can go live by 12a.m. CT Monday morning, if everything goes according to plan.

And speaking of plans… I’d like to announce something new that I’m going to try. As a gift to myself for completing the April session of Camp NaNoWriMo I wanted to buy myself something called The Heroes Journal. I’d been following it’s journey for a long time. When I quit Camp NaNoWriMo a little over halfway through the month of April, I was upset at myself. I wanted it so badly, and then I gave up with my prize nowhere in sight… so I bought it anyways.

Because I tried.

I tried very hard for my Camp NaNoWriMo win this year. Through depression, anxiety, a shotty leg, and still being amidst a pandemic, I gave it my all. Even if I didn’t reach my goal of 50,000 words in 30-days, I still tried. And that was good enough. It’s been in my hands for over a week now, and while I’ve carried it around almost everywhere with me, I haven’t yet begun writing in it. I didn’t want to ruin it. But today, on Beltane, the Gaelic May Day Festival, I started. Today is supposed to mark the halfway point between the spring equinox and the summer solstice, and it seemed like as good a time as any.

What is The Heroes Journal?

Well… I think you should 100% check out their website and grab one for yourself! But, what I will tell you from flipping through it’s pages over the past two weeks is that it’s supposed to be a productivity journal. Basically, it’s designed to help transform any goal into an extraordinary quest by combining story theory and goal getting science to give you the best experience possible.

Some people color in the illustrations. Some people don’t.

Full disclosure; I’m totally going to color mine in!

I’m excited. I’ll probably post about it more in the not so far off future but, seeing as I just started, that’s all I can tell you for now!

Until Next Time,

          -Sky