100 Days of Words:

        I didn’t think you’d be hearing form me again so soon but, here I am.

        I’m kind of glad about it too believe it or not because, this is something I was really excited to do, and something I was really excited to talk about some more. So, here I am with a little bit more on mjy self-imposed 100-Days of words mini writing challenge! Today was supposed to be Day #1 and so far, I’m pretty sure I’ve figured out the rules. However, these rules are 100% open to change and interpretation, if it’s something you want to jump on the bandwagon for.

1. Just show up.

Yup, that’s it. That’s the first rule, for me, all I have to do is show up and do the bare fucking minimum. No special wordcounts that I have to hit, that if I inevitably cannot reach one day will plummet my self-esteem.

• Write for 15-minutes.

Only 15-minutes. That is what I am considering the bare minimum- at least for me. Some people might consider their bare minimum 5-minutes, 10-minutes, an hour. Everyone’s bare minimum is different. Everyone’s base level is different.

So, this for me, at least isn’t about perfectionism. At least not right now, right now all this is supposed to do is boost my morale, and help me create healthy habits. Logically, I think these same virtues and ideals can be applied to almost anything- reading, writing, trying to learn a language, walking, working out, cleaning. Do the bare minimum, after that if you feel like stopping, okay. You did what you came here for. If you keep going after that, then good for you!

• Tailoring the Rules to My Personal Needs.

Does this need to be a rule? No.

Am I going to make it a rule, just as an extra way to hold myself to a higher standard because, in my opinion, that’s what this whole ‘challenge’ or personal goal is all about? Definitely.

So, my specified rules are that Pinterest and TikTok will not under any circumstances count as putting in work or time towards my WIP. (Despite how much I love the writers on TikTok and Pinterest.)

But now that you know what doesn’t count… let me tell you what does. Counting towards this writing time will be worldbuilding, character building, plotting/planning, adding to my skeleton draft or an outline. Other things I’ll accept as “writing” will be fixing plotholes. (They pop up everywhere, when you least expect them.)

        Will I add more rules in time? Maybe.

        Will I refine them and make them more geared towards personal growth, and what I need as a writer and a person? Most likely, and both of those things are 100% fine.

        Just because I’m doing this, though, and it will extend to November 24^th, 2021does not mean that I won’t be participating in NaNoWriMo this year. However, it’s also not an automatic GO for NaNo either. I love NaNoWriMo. It was my first real ‘writing challenge’ but, to tell you the truth, NaNo is not good for my mental, emotional, or physical wellbeing anymore. Because, every year, at least a month ahead of time if not two, I’ll start planning for NaNo.

        I redo my writing notebook, and all of my notes. I get everything set, and organized, and then on the first day I might reach that 1,667 words that everyone is vying after. I might reach that goal on the 2^nd, 3^rd, and even 4^th day as well. But, sometimes I don’t always have enough time to devote to my writing for health and or other reasons, and I have to cut myself short that day. Then, when I look back at the NaNoWriMo website, or my personal word trackers, writing software, or even the support groups on Facebook… all I can think of is I wrote X number of words today. Which inevitably means if I do not write X number of word tomorrow, then I’m behind.

        That’s where things really start getting bad for me.

        If I get behind, even by 100-words, I start to spiral. Imposter syndrome creeps out of the shadows, snakes it’s way up behind my desk chair, and strangles the fucking life out of me. It tells me things like “you’ve already failed, so why keep going?” It says, “you’re too far behind, you’ll never catch up.” And you know what? I believe it.

        Should I? No. But sometimes, logic has no place in these things. Sometimes, logic cowers in the corner, right beside you, and listens when imposter syndrome says that you aren’t good enough, and you cannot under any circumstances do the thing.

Today on the other hand… I did the thing.

I’m still not feeling 100% again after surgery on Wednesday. Going out with my grandma and buying a new dryer for our clothes because our old one decided it didn’t want to work anymore did not help. Neither did being unable to find the Zero Squishmallow at Walgreens. (I want it so bad. You have no idea.) But, I still came home, and put work into cleaning up my desk. I wanted a safe, clean space to start my 100-Days of Words challenge. So, I cleared off my desk, went through my pens, and got rid of the ones that didn’t work anymore. I got a new candle, lit an incense, and I got to work.

15-minutes turned into 97-minutes.

After that, I got a quick snack, opened the Oreo iced-coffee that’s lived in my mini fridge for the past two-weeks (I’m so glad they come in sealed cans.) and then, I decided to try again for another 15-minutes. At the end of my writing time, before I decided to write this, and crawl into bed, I’d logged almost 2 and a half hours’ worth of writing. 145-minutes worth of writing.

And I am so fucking proud of that.

Especially because that amounts to 6,214 words. Something I otherwise wouldn’t have been able to do because, if I did, I would’ve constantly been looking at my wordcount and panicking because it wouldn’t have been high enough. Not high enough to appease the “NaNo Gods” not high enough to appease the “NaNo Elitists” and definitely, in no way enough to appease me, the imposter syndrome, and my own unchecked perfectionism.

Will I update you every day? Probably not.

But today, was 100% a win for me. One that I felt that I had to share. One that I am so proud of because, this feels like the best way to kick off a brand-new writing challenge. One that I’m able to set my own pace and limits for, without feeling like I’m letting anyone including myself down. One where I feel valued, and I feel like I am most of all allowed to be proud of myself and my progress.

As for tomorrow? I might write 15-words in my 15-minutes or maybe I’ll write a couple thousand. Who knows. All I know for now, is that I need to get to bed because, tomorrow is allergy shots day, which is going to suck enough as it is, because I’m still healing after major surgery. But, I know that it’ll suck even more if I add healing from surgery to no sleep.

Goodnight.

-Sky