Wow…
So, if you’ve been following along with me for a while, you know that on August 21st, 2020, I fell down the stairs and messed up my left leg. What I was originally told was both a hairline fracture, and a sprained ankle has turned into a lifetime of pain, anger, and bitterness thus far.
A year ago today, I was on 600MG of ibuprofen every 6-hours to control the immense pain I was in, living in an air cast, and learning how to use crutches. Angel was here, and we were laying in our bed, watching Lucifer season 5 on Netflix. Although things were hard… I like to think we were happy.
Now, it’s a year and a day later. Once again on August 22nd, I’m sitting at work. In this past year I’ve gone through countless doctor’s appointments. I had an MRI which showed that unlike what Dr. Saini said, I was diagnosed with a nondisplaced intra-articular fracture of the medial cuboid bone with additional avulsion fracture along the lateral aspect of the cuboid bone at the calcaneocuboid ligament attachment and a partial-thickness tear of the talofibular ligament and the calcaneal fibular ligament. Does that sound scary, or what? I’ve done physical therapy. I’ve been on medications and had four sympathetic nerve block procedures. Those, unfortunately, were unsuccessful. I was also diagnosed with CRPS (chronic regional pain syndrome) also nicknamed the Suicide Disease to those who cannot find some form of relief in the first 1-3 years. I’ve also gone through the trial procedure for a DRG spinal stimulator implant to help me with my pain.
On August 11th, I had my permanent implant placed.
It’s not something I’ve really wanted to talk about, or write about, even though it’s something that’s been weighing heavily on my mind. Unlike the nerve blocks, which are medication that gets injected and eventually dissipates, this spinal stimulator will be with me forever. Maybe not this exact one, since the battery life is about 10-years but, for the rest of my life, I’m going to need to go through maintenance of having this thing serviced and checked on. I’ll need to make sure to bring the iPod that controls it with me everywhere, and make sure I keep it charged since they don’t yet have an app controller for Samsung or Galaxy phones.
From now on, I will need to be mindful of whether I go in for MRIs. And if I do, I’ll need to make sure that my controller and the DRG itself is on it’s special MRI setting. I’ll need to be careful with metal detectors because, I’m told it can and will set them off. To the point that I’m not wondering if I should have a new medical bracelet made both in case of emergencies where I am not conscious enough to say that I have this, and my own convenience.
But, I’m still not out of the woods yet.
My stitches will hopefully be coming out on the 27th because they’re driving me crazy, and from there I need to go back and see Dr. Klein, the podiatrist because there’s still something very wrong in my foot. If I step down a certain way, my ankle rolls. It bottoms out beneath me, and I crumple like a paper bag. Or something will pop, the entire foot and ankle will turn purple, and then swell up like a balloon. So, the bones are still wrong.
After that, I have to find a good, reliable GP.
I guess what I’m saying is that, honestly, I just want to get better.
But, it’s more than that. I want to walk through Goodwill with Angel again, humming or singing July, and driving her crazy. I want trash panda nights, and Super Mario/Overcooked days. I want days in bed watching Lucifer, and afternoons baking, and making dinner together. Last year wasn’t easy by any means but, now that we’re coming up on the year mark of her leaving, I find myself missing my best friend more and more. I find myself wishing things could go back to the way they used to be.
-Sky
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