October.

          How can it be October already?

          I tried to write this post yesterday but, I couldn’t. I didn’t believe that it was finally October. Today, I still don’t. Even though I usually live for this time of year, this year, and last year just don’t feel real. It all still feels like a bad dream. More than ever, right now, I’m reminded of the things that I’ve lost. Things I can’t do anymore, and the things I’ll never get back.

          Part of me wants to participate. Go to haunted houses. Drink apple cider. Go to the pumpkin patch. Go on hayrides. Go through a corn maze. Do all the typically fall things that are supposed to make you feel good and bring you closer to the people you love. Make memories that will last for years and years to come.

          Most of all, I think it makes me miss my mom and Angel more than I already did before. I miss having someone to do things with. I miss the adventures. I miss the laughter. I miss all of it. I’m not sure if I’ll ever get it back, and that hurts. So, for now I guess I’m going to do the same thing I’ve been doing. I’m going to keep trying, and hopefully, it’ll get me where I need to be.

          As for NaNoWriMo and Preptober? I don’t know if I’m going to participate. That’s something I need to think long and hard about. Especially since I’ve been doing so well with my 100 Days of Words, personal writing challenge. I wouldn’t want to do anything to screw it up but, at the same time I kind of want to prove to myself that I can do it.

          -Sky