Once again, I feel like I only need to post the title, and that’s it because, it already says everything that I don’t know how to say. Lately, I’ve just felt extremely uninspired and out of whack. Maybe my muse is on vacation, I don’t know. What I do know, however, is that they aren’t here, doing their damn job!
I never used to have a problem with finding story inspiration when I was younger, and I’m not exactly sure what happened, or what changed. I’m still trying to do my 100-days of words mini-challenge, which will officially end in four days’ time. So, while I’m not giving up on that, I have been doing just the bare minimum lately. Which, I guess is okay, I mean, that was the challenge, wasn’t it? For me to make sure I showed up, did the required 15-minutes a night minimum of writing, and after that if I wanted to stop I could. If I wanted to keep going after that though, that was perfectly fine too.
Yet, somehow, all of the NaNoWriMo posts on Instagram and TikTok are still getting to me, even though I’m admittedly anti-NaNo this year. Even so, I’m still discourage that I haven’t written the almost 34k words that I would’ve needed to be on track. But that’s the entire reason I didn’t want to do NaNoWriMo this year. It just doesn’t work and isn’t realistic for my lifestyle. I don’t always have the time (or the spoons for my chronically ill audience out there) much less the fucks to give every day to make sure that 1,667 words happen every day.
Some days I can hardly manage two sentences, much less two pages double-spaced. You know what I mean? Some days, it’s hard enough getting myself out of bed, to work, and fed, and when I look at the NaNo website and it tells me that I’ll finish my novel in December, or January, or later it just leaves me feeling discouraged, and wanting to give up.
I guess it’s time to show up, and if I’m lucky, I’ll make words. If not, oh well, at least I tried.
-Sky
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