Yet again, another post that I have literally no idea how to start.
Camp NaNoWriMo started off pretty strong for the most part, honestly. I was doing good, staying ahead of the wordcount dragons that were breathing down my neck, and then it all came to a screeching halt. If you want to be punny, you can say it all went up in flames. (Sometimes I deal with my problems in lame humor.)
Angel is here- if you couldn’t tell from my last post, and things are… crazy?
That’s not her fault to be fair, things are just a little wild in general. My life mostly consists of doctor’s appointments that I don’t want to go to right now, stress, or drama caused by outside sources, and I find that incredibly stressful. Having her here helps a lot though. Honestly, it’s nice for me to have someone in the car with me on the way to appointments, to grocery shop with (minus the complaining thankfully), and to just cook with, and just do things with.
For example, between appointments and carting my grandmother around… we’ve spent the past few days playing the PS2. No one else plays video games with me, much less the old dungeon crawlers that I used to play with my mom. Currently, we’re both doing well on Dark Alliance 2. She chose the rogue, and I’m currently using the cleric. It’s a lot of fun and it’s the kind of vibe I really need right now. Especially since things with my writing aren’t going so well.
In other news… we kind of broke down and bought me a rolling walker… thingy? We found it at the Goodwill for $12. At first, I told her no, and kept trying to push for no but, she eventually got me to breakdown and agree to it. Do I like it? No. Did I want it? No. But, as my mom would have told you if she were still here “you can’t always get what you want but, if you try sometimes, you get what you need.” Funny to think I used to hate it when she’d quote that song at me and now, I would do anything to have her singing it at me slightly off-key when she was right about something, and I didn’t want to admit it.
It’s an okay walker. I like the berry color but, I do want to find some way to deck it out like I’ve seen done on TikTok to make me feel better about it. Maybe this is me medically gaslighting myself (which wouldn’t be a first for me) but, sometimes I wonder if I’m really sick enough to actually need something like that. Though, even I know that the answer is yes with the number of times in a day where I’m dizzy, or falling, especially when I just found out yesterday that I need to have yet another surgery.
Yup. You heard it here first, I’m getting the stupid DRG taken out and revised because, like I’ve been saying almost since they put the stupid thing in me, it’s not working right, and they’re finally taking me somewhat seriously. I cannot even begin to tell you how helpless, or worthless, or awful that makes me feel… I don’t want to go through another two weeks or more where I can’t actually DO anything. Where I’m laying there in bed, absolutely miserable, trying not to bleed on anything because stitches just suck, or fighting to find a comfortable position.
Like there are literally no words for any of what I’m feeling right now.
None.
Okay, maybe that’s a lie. Does AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH count?
*Insert screaming here*
But it helped me get through Rush in Chicago for my appointment yesterday. Without it, between the parking garage, and needing to wander all over the hospital to find the pain management office, I probably would’ve been on the floor. (Don’t even get me started on the traffic or the terrible road construction.) Things are just kind of stressful right now but, in a way I guess I’m lucky? At least I won’t have to go back to work the day after a major life-altering surgery to an inconsiderate, tyrannical boss, who refused to respect my disability and my limits. Right?
I guess that’s it for now.
I’ll try to update again soon.
-Sky
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