Now, I’m no Danny Elfman, so I’m not going to break out into song about how it’s a beautiful day for a glorious wedding, or anything like that. Because, for some weird reason, I’ve had that song stuck in my head all day. It’s a good song, don’t get me wrong, from a movie that I love. Tim Burton and Danny Elfman work so well together. But that isn’t what this is about.
As I sit here typing this, it is Christmas day.
I haven’t been writing a whole lot about anything lately. Upstairs, my grandmother is taking a nap. We’ve had our snacks, we should start dinner soon but, the point is that I have a few minutes to just sit down and try to get my thoughts down and together. Unfortunately, I haven’t been writing much, or been able to write much. Mentally, physically, and emotionally, I’ve just been kind of drained, I guess.
I feel bad because I want to write. I want to sit down and work on my projects, especially after having gotten what felt like a lot done on a new project I’ve been fussing with. But the truth is, I don’t know why I haven’t been writing, or been able to write. I’m frustrated with myself for not being able to do the only thing that I feel like I want to do. Some people have known from the time that they were small that they wanted to be doctors, nurses, biologists, and whatever else. For me, I wanted to be a writer, and I wanted to tell stories.
Lately though, writing has kind of been a struggle for me, and that really sucks. I know that it’s probably just burnout, and that I’m burnt out and stressed. So, I’m trying to be gentle with myself. Because I would want you, or anyone else to be gentle with themselves if they were struggling, so I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to do for myself, when all I feel like doing is pushing myself to do more. Try harder, be better, do more. Part of me thinks that’s because most people my age, or at least a lot of them, are out there doing the jobs that they love after college, and getting engaged, or married, and having kids. All I’m doing, really, is paperwork, doctor’s appointments, fighting my ass off to get onto disability because I can’t work, and stressing over the fact that the brakes on my walker are screwed beyond repair… and new walkers are expensive.
So, the chances of seeing “new” posts from me are a little low.
I do, however, have quite a few posts just hanging out in my drafts from before I had surgery, when Angel was here. I think I may start posting them, and other posts that I’d written to post later, for when I’m not feeling well. Because I like the consistency, and the routine of having this place to put my thoughts. Speaking of thoughts, I have finished a couple books lately, and I’ll be writing up reviews for Goodreads, as well as to post here, if I can. I hope that I can because, honestly, I loved those books, and I really want to talk about them. But like I said, writing, at least lately, has been hard.
I will, however, be making a post on my thoughts about the new Interview with a Vampire series on AMC that I just finished binge-watching last night. There are thoughts. There are a lot of thoughts, so many that I’m not even sure I can fit them all in just one singular post. You know what I mean? There are 13-books in the Anne Rice Vampire Chronicles series. There is one movie that we all probably know with Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise from the 90’s. But, there are only 7 episodes of the new series, and all I plan to say on it right now, is that Louis de Pointe du Lac and Lestat de Lioncourt are nothing like what I had expected them to be after having read the books, seen the movie, and deciding to give this series that is so exponentially different from what I had thought I wanted, a chance.
Blessed Yule, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Kwanzaa, and everything in between. Please remember during this holiday time that you are worthy and deserving of love, kindness, peace, and respect. Also, please remember to drink water, eat when you feel like you are able, and take time to yourself if you find that you’re becoming overwhelmed. Holidays aren’t always easy on everyone, and if you find that you are having feelings of harming yourself or anyone else, please remember that 9-8-8 is available 24-hours a day, every day.
-Sky
Skyla N. Lambert
Author | Blogger | Bookworm
E. skylanarissalambert@gmail.com
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