(TW: Aging, Bullying)
It is Midnight on August 4th, 2023… and you know what that means, don’t you?
Today is my person’s 30th birthday! (Feeling old yet, babe?)
Now, for any of you who don’t know us personally, you probably wouldn’t know just how big this actually is. So, while turning 30 might be big for a lot of people, for us it means something else, it means that we made it. We beat the statistics; in more ways than one.
When I originally met the person that you know as Angel, I was only nine years old, and she was older than me. (Something people still don’t always believe.) At the time, we hated each other- or so I thought- the seats on our school bus got swapped around, and I had to sit with her rather than the person who I thought at the time, was my best friend. Being the kind of person that I am, I did not, and don’t always know, handle change very well so the transition was harder for me than it was on most of the kids on the school bus.
I didn’t know it at the time but, changing seats quite literally saved my life. And if I could, I would go back in time and thank that bus driver for doing it. I had a lot going on that year; my grandfather was dying, and eventually died of cancer, and on top of that I was being heavily bullied in school. Both topics felt like taboo at the time, and I didn’t want to talk about either to anyone but, at the same time I wasn’t hiding it either. People saw but, they didn’t want to do anything.
I didn’t either.
I wasn’t looking to make any friends. Yet, somehow, seeing her get bullied by some of the same people who bullied me helped me open up about what was really going on in my life, and it helped me learn how to stand up for myself and others. That’s just the kind of person she is though- over the years she’s helped me with a lot of things.
If it weren’t for Angel, I wouldn’t listen to half of the music that I do now. She’s the person who introduced me to Evanescence, Within Temptation, and inevitably sparked my love of female voices in rock music. She introduced me to anime- sort of- not including InuYasha at 3am and waking up to the closing song thanks to Adult Swim. She also introduced me to anime, and my love for Japanese cuisine, art. Just thinking of a world in which I don’t have my wok for everything, and I do mean everything makes me want to cringe.
But most of all, she’s the reason that I started writing in the first place.
Yes, like most kids, I had a “diary.” Basically, just a stupid notebook that I would write things in. Nothing special, in fact if I remember correctly, most of it was just doodles, or bitching about my life. There was a lot of that in those days, especially between the grieving and the bullying. Life was harder in those days, and it’s not like I could talk to the people who were supposed to be my friends…
(But I guarantee you that they won’t read this, so I really don’t mind saying it out loud now.)
Then, of course, there was all of the poetry. There was a lot of that too, and yet, she was the first one to ask, “why not stories too?” She told me that I would be a good storyteller, and that if I did write stories she would read them. Unfortunately for her, she didn’t realize that I was actually going to take it to heart and do it, and now I’m sure that there is more ink (and medication) in my veins than actual blood for the most part.
And it’s all her fault.
My mother was responsible for my love of reading but, I will tell anyone who is willing to listen that Angel is responsible for my love of writing. So, in a way, I think that it’s only write (get it?) that I sit here and write about her; my Mario, my best friend, my player-two, my person. You know, it’s kind of funny because, the first time I called her Mario- because that’s what she made me think of, or more specifically, a Yoshi- she got pissed off at me. She hated it, and if I remember correctly, told me to never call her that again. But now, she begs me to play Mario with her, and if it isn’t Super Mario 3D World, or Super Mario Bros. it’s Fortune Street.
(I’m still proud of her for winning all three rounds the last time we played together.)
So, here’s to you, and another year together- the long car rides, singing our hearts out. The concerts we’ve gone to, and the ones we’ll go to in the future. (I still can’t believe we got to see Citizen Soldier and Smash into Pieces in Chicago!) The days we spend in bed, watching movies, or the way you whine when I turn on Dr. Pimple Popper. Here’s to setting up the game room together and improving on it more and more over time (Mom would be so proud of the way it looks, and I know she’d be sitting right there with us playing games if she could be) -setting up all of our Zelda things, and the tie dye blanket we haven’t yet made.
Here is to another year of cooking together, baking together, and learning how to make new things. Speaking of new things, I’m terrified about making you that leg of lamb tomorrow/today but, I’m going to do my best to make you a nice little Mediterranean/Greek feast. I’ve been doing research for weeks. I just want to make everything perfect for you and give you the best 30th birthday that I can because, you only turn 30 one time.
(So far, the plan is a Mediterranean lamb, tzatziki sauce, a watermelon feta salad, pita breads, and a tomato salad with balsamic but, I don’t know how well I’ll pull that off!)
You were there for my 10th birthday, and unfortunately, I couldn’t be there for your sweet sixteen, eighteen, or twenty-one so, I have to make the big THREE-OH count! You do so much for me, whether it’s making me coffee in the mornings, going to appointments with me, spending time with me, or just putting up with my bullshit. I know that I’m not always the easiest person to be around, and sometimes I stress you out, like today when I dropped that damned toaster-oven on my foot but… at the end of the day I love you.
I love you for the silly sounds you make when you’re excited.
I love you for the way you’ll bounce along to music in the car.
The way you struggle to pick who you want to be when we’re playing Mario- even though I know you almost always end up as Peach, aside from winning three rounds of Fortune Street as Mario…
I also love the way you make me think. More often than not, you have this way of changing my views on things, mostly without meaning to, things like politics, humanity, and the goings on in the world. You make me see a different side of things, and people, and you make me want to give the world a second chance despite all of the trauma and bullshit that we’ve been through. And I think that if more people thought like you, or could take the time to sit down and understand you, and the way you speak- even though there are times when you get distracted, beat around the bush, babble, or explain badly, there would be a little bit less war and a little more compassion in the world.
Okay, let’s be honest. A lot more compassion.
Because you’re always trying to see the good in people, even when there isn’t that much, if any good to see. But the point is you still try, and you’re still actively trying. Some days, I think you might feel like there’s a redemption arc out there for everyone and everything, and even though I argue with you about it sometimes, I secretly hope and want to believe that you might be right, and that I’m wrong. Maybe everyone can be saved.
But today isn’t about everyone else.
Today is about you because, it’s your birthday. Today, you turn thirty, and while I know it’s a daunting task… I know you can do it. You did it, you made it to thirty, and like one of our favorite people said, her thirties were the best years of her life. So, let’s see how thirty treats us because, over this next year, I’m hoping to promise you a lot of things.
I want to promise you that we will go apple picking together- because we need apples if we’re going to make BJ apple cider donuts. I want us to go pumpkin picking, even though we have the one pumpkin growing in the garden. We have to carve them though, and I hope you’re already thinking about what you want to carve because I have ideas, so many ideas… I just wish I knew how to execute even a fraction of them. I want us to make a Thanksgiving turkey, and make cranberry sauce from scratch, and go to the Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony in town. I want us to go to the Christmas Market together. But that isn’t all, I’m still hoping we can make it to C2E2 in the spring, and maybe even cosplay. I’d like us to go to the Renaissance Faire, like we did last year because you had so much fun.
And who knows, maybe Citizen Soldier will find their way back to Chicago again, and we can see Jake and the guys again. (Don’t forget, we’ll need to bring a blue metallic Sharpie this time for ICU.)
But either way, no matter what we do, I want to do it with you.
You make the bad days, when I don’t want to get out of bed worth it. So, even though I couldn’t be there for eighteen, twenty, twenty-one, or twenty-five, I’m happy to be here for thirty. I hope we can spend your thirties (I can’t say OUR yet, I’m not quiiiiite that old…~) together, going on all kinds of new adventures.
I love you mostest.
Now, I know I can’t sing at you in French like your mom, or in German because I don’t know how but, I hope you like your new knife set, and I promise to take you out to lunch or dinner when I can because, I love you.
Every summer has a story. Every season has a story. So, how about we write a story together? Do you want to go on an adventure?
-Sky
Skyla N. Lambert
It’s | Angel’s | Thirtieth | Birthday!
E. skylanarissalambert@gmail.com
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