And Suddenly… the World Went Quiet.

1–2 minutes

To read

(TW: Grief, Loss, a Death in the Family, Depression)

     I haven’t been posting for awhile now, not because I have nothing to say but, I think because there is too much to say. I have too much on my mind, and when I open my mouth to speak, no words come out. Things at home… if I can still call it that, are fucking tense.

     It’s been 19-days since my grandmother died, and nothing feels real anymore.

     I keep expecting to wake up one morning, and her just be there, crocheting something new, asking me for my opinion, or bugging me about something insignificant. None of those things happen or are going to happen. I just feel like I’m stuck in one giant nightmare after another.

     Some days are easier than others.

     Some days feel like they will never, ever end.

     I don’t know if I’ll come back to this blog again. I don’t know if I’m going to come back to writing or reading again. I just don’t know.


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Ama Ndlovu explores the connections of culture, ecology, and imagination.

Her work combines ancestral knowledge with visions of the planetary future, examining how Black perspectives can transform how we see our world and what lies ahead.