⚠️ Content Warning: Brief mention of medical procedures, side effects, and migraines.
Greetings, boys and ghouls-
Spooky season is here, and your local cryptid has been stirring up equal parts medical mayhem and kitchen witchery. No one should be surprised. Yesterday brought Xolair injections (the least festive “treat” in existence). Pre-filled syringes? More like pre-filled with curses. And to top it off, they nearly doubled my dose. Enter nausea, vomiting, and thunderclap headaches- basically a jump scare for my body. Take. Them. Back.
Thankfully, Nurtec worked its sorcery, and I crept back into the kitchen to conjure comfort. First came broccoli and cheese soup (classic cauldron fare), then cheesy burger pasta for dinner (my trusty ghoul-fuel). But the true graveyard smash? Cookie dough banana bread. Yes, you heard right- cookie dough inside banana bread. Instead of following TikTok’s spellbook, I used my tried-and-true recipe, rolled homemade cookie dough into little cryptid-sized spheres, and buried them in the batter. As it baked, the dough fused with the bread into gooey, ghostly perfection. A loaf so good it could raise the dead.
As if by divine mischief, the food bank also blessed (or cursed?) us with a 6 lb corned beef brisket this past week. And I’m still haunted by the generosity. We scraped off the seasoning (banished for taste and dietary reasons), rubbed it down with all of the good German mustard and Kinder spices, and basted it with my Maggi Klare Zuppe broth. Add half a brick of cream cheese to the mashed potatoes, and suddenly I was feasting like Dracula at a midnight buffet. The leftovers still haunt my fridge, whispering, “Eaaaat meeee.”
You know it must be autumn when I’m back to my constant baking boo-sheet. Don’t roll your eyes at the puns- they’re the only spirits keeping me entertained while I ice bruises that look like phantom fingerprints from the injections.
In the haunted halls of scheduling, there’s news too:
- Tuesdays → Weekly life updates and cozy posts (just like this one!)
- Every other Wednesday → Folklore Wednesday (because cryptids never take a holiday)
- Fridays → Luna’s pupdates! If we’re doing something new- whether it’s training, tricks, or just going on adventures- you’re going to hear about it. Lulu loves a good “takeover.”
- Saturdays → Health/doctor updates (because my calendar is scarier than any haunted corn maze)
This week on Wednesday, between doing some writing, getting some rest, and prepping for the inevitable arrival of my Aunt Dee (she’s coming to visit), I’ll be summoning wisdom from a Sleep Medicine Specialist (my neurologist hopes better rest might exorcise some headaches). An ophthalmologist referral is also looming in the shadows- ocular migraines are suspected, though scheduling has been trickier than wrangling a werewolf under a full moon.
And because cryptids belong on every platform, you can haunt me and Luna here:
- TikTok: [@The.Crippled.Cryptid]
- Instagram: [@SkylaNarissa & @Luna.the.Service.Dingo]
- X/Twitter & Snapchat (because we post videos when we’re cooking): [@SkylaNarissa]
… with Lemon8 perhaps clawing its way out of the grave soon. The platform is set up; we just don’t know how to use it yet (also @The.Crippled.Cryptid).
So, go ahead and grab your coziest blanket, pour a potion in your favorite cauldron mug, and join me in embracing fall. Between bruises, brisket, and banana bread, this ghoul is surviving one pun at a time- now we just need Illinois’ weather to sit down, shut up, and get with the program. Because one second it’s in the 60s where it belongs, and then there’s yesterday, where it was 85 degrees and I wanted to crawl into my grave a little early.
Stay haunted, stay cozy, and beware the boo-sheet. 💀✨
-Sky, The Crippled Cryptid
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