Content Warnings
• Mild Stranger Things Season 5 anticipation/predictions (no spoilers)
• Mentions of food & Thanksgiving cooking
• Light acknowledgment of Thanksgiving’s complicated history for Indigenous people
• Brief mentions of grief/loss of loved ones & pets
• Service dog discussion
Welcome back to The Crippled Cryptid –
a cozy corner of the internet where disability, chronic illness, service dogs, and everyday magic all sit at the same table.
This is a space built on honesty, humor, advocacy, and the beautifully chaotic reality of living in a haunted meat-suit that doesn’t always cooperate. Whether you’re here for education, solidarity, or just a safe place to set your bones down and breathe, I’m glad you found your way back.
Pull up a chair, grab something warm, and let’s dive in.
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If you’re anything like me, then you already know what Wednesday is-
the premiere of the final season of Stranger Things.
On one hand, I’m jumping for joy because it’s finally here.
On the other, I’m a little heartbroken… this show has been with me for almost ten years, and watching it come to an end feels like saying goodbye to a long-term emotional support cryptid.
I grew up watching Stranger Things- it got me through a good portion of COVID.
(And I don’t mean I had COVID- I mean it got me through my first leg injury during COVID.) Watching the cast grow up- both in Hawkins and across the entertainment world- has been one of the coolest things. And don’t even get me started on Gaten Matarazzo going from Dustin to Broadway.
Iconic behavior.
And Winona Ryder? My entire 90s childhood.
Beetlejuice. Edward Scissorhands. Now Joyce freaking Byers.
Watching a show set in the 80s- when my mom would’ve been growing up- has hit differently, especially since she passed away in early 2020. Stranger Things helped me grieve, cope, and feel connected again.
So, yes- this last season means something.
Everything. And there is a part of me that isn’t ready to let go yet.
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And honestly? Part of what makes saying goodbye so weird is that Stranger Things has grown with us- from the S1 walkie-talkie basement adventures to the emotional destruction of Seasons 3 and 4.
Found family, trauma, survival, misfits saving the world, fighting monsters nobody else believes are real?
Yeah… a lot of disabled, queer, neurodivergent folks saw ourselves in Hawkins long before the show said it out loud.
So maybe this “final chapter” isn’t really an ending-
just the next campaign.
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Now, I’m not putting too many predictions into the universe (I refuse to jinx anything or get my hopes too high), but here’s what I want:
• Vecna’s full backstory, preferably unhinged and devastating.
What I will tell you is that with the premier being so close, I’ve been seeing a lot of unhinged theories on TikTok lately. Some of them include El being Vecna’s daughter, and to that, I don’t know what to say. But, I will say this… if you think about his age, and how old Eleven is in the show, it could potentially make sense. In the show’s canon, he did go to high school with Joyce, Jim, and Eleven’s mother, so there is a possibility.
• Answers- real ones- about what was done to Eleven
I know, at this point, you’re probably saying, “Sky, get your ass off TikTok.” But, I saw another fan theory that says El has to die in order to get rid of Vecna for good, and to save Hawkins from complete and total desolation. I don’t know how I feel about that one but, it does make sense.
• Jim Hopper and Dustin Henderson surviving, because emotionally I cannot afford otherwise
When Hopper “died” last time, I was wrecked.
If it happens again? No. Just… no.
And Dustin? I would simply perish. Don’t do this to me, Netflix.
I mean it, you already cancel all of my favorite shows. Netflix. Are you reading this? Tell me you won’t kill Jim. Please?
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Speaking of emotional support… blanket-hoodies exist, and they are life-changing.
M&M and I were at Walmart the other day- shout-out to our friend for driving us after a food bank run. (And the fact that Instacart still doesn’t partner with Walmart is nonsense. Walmart+, I respect you, but I’m not paying that much for delivery from just one store.)
Anyway- we found the absurdly wonderful, wearable blanket hoodie-things.
Hers is Hello Kitty. Obviously.
-and before anyone says a damn thing about grown-ups liking silly things like Hello Kitty, or Stranger Things, or video games, please just don’t. With the state of the world, I believe that it is perfectly reasonable to find small joys in little things that make you happy.
Mine? Stranger Things. Because why not?
It has the logo, demogorgon faces, a d20, Dustin’s hat, the kids’ bikes, and even an Eggo. When you’re not wearing it, you can fold it into its own kangaroo pocket and turn it into a pillow.
Emotional Support Fashion™.
I will be living in it until further notice. And did I mention that these things have hoods?
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And since the premiere lands the day before Thanksgiving, I’m taking the opportunity to not cook a single thing beforehand- because Thursday is going to be a cooking marathon. (All the better to clean out the fridge and prep for leftovers anyways, right?)
Because while Wednesday may be Stranger Things Day, Thursday is Thanksgiving here in the U.S. And like many Native folks, my relationship with the holiday is a little complicated- equal parts historical side-eye, generational resilience, family tradition, and reclaimed joy.
You see, when I was younger, the tradition used to be to either go to my Oma and Opa’s house (German great-grandparents) and have thanksgiving dinner with them, or we’d have Thanksgiving here at the house. My grandmother would make a dry turkey, mashed potatoes, canned corn, sometimes green beans, and to be 100% honest with you, most of us were just here for the appetizers. Because The deviled eggs alone were worth showing up for.
(That, and I lived here, so I didn’t have much of a choice.)
But in this house, we make the holiday our own now- and honestly? We do a pretty good job.
Also carbs. So many reckless, glorious carbs.
Here’s the plan:
• 18.5 lb turkey-
Instacart chaos strikes true. I ordered a 10lb turkey, and somehow, lo and behold, they “didn’t have any” in my desired weight, so they just brought me a nearly 19lb turkey instead. Don’t even ask what I’m doing with almost 19 pounds of turkey. I don’t know… but if you know turkey leftover ideas, send them my way!
• mushroom & leek stuffing
• mashed potatoes + homemade gravy
• roasted cauliflower
Specifically for M&M and I. No cauliflower for the Yard Yeti, he doesn’t like it. Any leftover cauliflower can become soup!
• green beans
• homemade cranberry sauce
• deviled eggs
• cheese board with homemade cheese ball (redneck charcuterie- I’m allowed, I live in rural Illinois)
• fruit, veggies, BBQ sausage appetizers
• pineapple upside-down cake courtesy of M&M (she promised)
So yes- joy, chaos, nostalgia, and butter await. -and a homemade focaccia bread.
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Now, before anyone worries- I want you to know that yes, Luna will also be celebrating!
She’ll be getting her own dog-safe, vet-approved Thanksgiving plate- because she is family, not decoration. And she works really hard around here, just like we all do- whether its by maintaining alerts, DPT, heart rate monitoring, or just by helping keep the mood light. She is the Bestest Girl™.
Holiday Dog Safety PSA (because we love responsible gobbling):
✅ SAFE
• plain, fully cooked turkey meat
• green beans
• carrots
• pumpkin
• sweet potato
• her regular food & treats
🚫 NOT SAFE
• cooked or raw bones (bones splinter, and can cause impaction, damage soft tissue and dog organs)
• onions, garlic, leeks, chives
• grapes/raisins
• chocolate or xylitol
• alcohol (people need reminders 😬)
• stuffing, skin, butter-drenched scraps
• anything heavily seasoned
When in doubt- please call your vet, not Uncle “Dogs Ate This When I Was a Kid and They Were Fine.”
Say it with me:
Pets are FAMILY- not fashion, not props, and yes, that includes service dogs.
She also has a turkey toy that rips apart to reveal a pumpkin pie squeaker toy and a tennis ball, and I’m unreasonably excited about it.
Expect photos soon… and videos. (The pup has her own IG for a reason, folks.)
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So, whether you’re watching live or waiting until the hype cools and you have more than just one episode at a time so you can binge them all:
What are your Season 5 predictions?
What are you hoping to see?
Who MUST survive?
Let’s emotionally prepare together- Hawkins-style.
And don’t worry- this will remain a spoiler-free zone.
-Sky, The Crippled Cryptid
Written with coffee on one side, inside my Stranger Things blanket hoodie, with Luna snoring at my feet.
© The Crippled Cryptid- Disability, honesty, and a little chaos.
🔗 https://linktr.ee/skylanarissa
Optional Community Support
If you’ve made it this far- thank you. Truly.
Your presence, your reads, your comments, and your time matter more than you know.
And if you’re someone who’s able, willing, and wants to help further, my GoFundMe is still live. I’m fundraising for accessible transportation and medical travel- because living rurally without a vehicle means unreliable Ubers, limited access to groceries and appointments, and a lot of stress.
There is zero pressure or expectation– reading, sharing, or simply existing here is already support.
But if you’d like to check it out or boost it:
👉 https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-skys-journey-to-health-and-mobility
Thank you for helping keep this little cryptid corner going.
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