Hi.
It’s me. Luna.

Yes, I know it’s not Friday.
Yes, I am still doing a Takeover.

Christmas Magic™ has its own rules.
I enforce most of them.

Welcome back to The Crippled Cryptid, where my human is disabled, chronically ill, medically fascinating, and wisely chose to do Christmas the French way this year, which means all the hard work already happened.

It’s also M&M, my second Mama’s tradition, which was exciting.

Normally, we do American Christmas around here. It was time for a change.

If you’re new here: hi, I’m Luna Bean. I’m a medical alert service dog, a professional lovebug, and the reason Sky remembers to sit down.

If you’ve been here before: you already know I run Fridays, holidays, and any moment where supervision is required.

Today’s theme is very important:

French Christmas, Cryptid Edition
(or: We Cooked Yesterday and Today Is for Pajamas)

🎄 CHRISTMAS EVE: THE FEAST (THIS WAS SERIOUS BUSINESS)

This year, Christmas dinner happened on Christmas Eve, the way it should when you’re doing things the French way. All cooking was completed under the careful, loving, and occasionally loud supervision of M&M’s Aunt Lise, who we adore.

I hope that next year we can visit her, or she can come here, and we can celebrate together. Her phone calls always make my mamas happier, even when they’re going through a lot and having really hard days.

The menu was what Mama called “a little fancy” and what I would call extravagant and dangerous to drop on the floor:

• A prime rib roast, acquired for $8.99 a pound instead of $19.99, turning a $130 cut into a $59 masterpiece, cooked the traditional French way and served rare.
• Cream cheese mashed potatoes. Mama says there’s never a time these don’t belong on a holiday table. Aunt Lise says riced potatoes would have been better, but we didn’t have a potato ricer. We’ll check the thrift stores next time we can go.
• Corn with butter. (For the Yard Yeti.)
• Candied carrots, made Aunt Lise’s way because M&M loves them.
• M&M’s famous pineapple upside down cake, which technically existed but was not eaten because everyone was already full and incapable of movement.
• A little bit of Dragon Fire, grape rosé wine, because even cryptids get a treat once a year.

I received homemade dog soup with chicken, spinach, and sweet potato.

And yes, I also received a few prime rib trimmings thanks to the Yard Yeti, who is terrible at following rules but excellent at being an uncle. All part of the Christmas Magic™. Mama said it was okay.

There was laughter.
There was joy.
There was a phone call from Aunt Lise during dinner where she yelled at Mama for making BJ struggle with an “awful wine opener.”

Apparently, it should have been a simple pop-open bottle like champagne.
Apparently the cork was old.
Apparently this required commentary, instruction, and a great deal of laughter.

I supervised all of it from under the table.

🧦 SECOND CHRISTMAS, SAME HEART

This is my second Christmas with this family. I came home on May 11, 2024, and I have been in charge here ever since.

My first Christmas here was legendary. I had my own Winnie the Pooh stocking, filled like Mama was afraid of disappointing me. Inside were many toys, including a purple monster that I still carry proudly. It has survived a lot.

Much like Mama.

This year is quieter.
Smaller.
Still very good.

🐾 BEAR’S STOCKING (YES, THIS STILL MATTERS)

This year, I received Bear’s stocking.

Bear was my big brother. He was here first. He knew things. He took fence patrol extremely seriously, and I am still trying to live up to his standards.

He isn’t here anymore.
We miss him. A lot.

Mama and M&M never put his stocking away or got rid of it when he died. And this year, they gave it to me.

So, now I carry his stocking.
And his memory.
And a piece of his job.

I think he’d like that.

🎁 THE TOY SITUATION (EXCELLENT NEWS)

Inside the stocking was a rope toy shaped like Christmas lights.

Each light is a toy.
Each toy squeaks.

Yes, all of them.
No, Mama cannot take it away “just for a second.”

I have already introduced it to the Yard Yeti, my sworn enemy and favorite game. We will absolutely be outside this summer, me squeaking violently, the Yeti being attacked, and Mama laughing while pretending this is not happening directly next to the fence.

I expect Bear is watching.
I expect he approves.

My mamas also gifted me something else.
Something special.

A monster stuffy from Build-A-Bear and the book Where the Wild Things Are.

I love him.

🎄 HAPPY HOWLIDAYS

Mama has a frame that says Happy Howlidays.

Right now, Mama and M&M are finding their favorite photo of me and Bear from last year so it can live in that frame forever. A good decoration. A good memory.

M&M also set up a small remembrance tree for Bear. Lights. Ornaments. Love.

I like sitting near it.
I think he does too, even if it’s just his spirit.

🦌 WARDROBE CHECK

I received a new Christmas sweater thanks to M&M and Aunt Lise, who I love hearing on the phone because it means something good is coming. Even if that good thing is just smiling and laughter from my mamas.

It is deep blue.
It has a reindeer.
It has red tinsel.

I look extremely official.

🛏️ CHRISTMAS DAY: THE FRENCH WAY

Because we cooked yesterday, Christmas Day looks different.

No all-day cooking.
No exhaustion marathons.
That was yesterday.

Today is for pajamas.

Everyone is in their jammies.

Mama says that no one is allowed to visit unless they come in jammies. Something she got from Aunt Lise because today is Jammie Day™.
Gifts are still being opened.
Dinner is leftovers, as nature intended.

Breakfast is the Swiss Colony colonial breakfast kit Mama’s Aunt Dee sent. M&M has even offered crepes, which feels very on theme.

Mama is in Bed Jail™.
Her head hurts.
Her joints hurt.

Yesterday, she did the most. More than she probably should have.

And even though there weren’t any guests and it was just family, she says it was worth it.

Keppra is still doing whatever it does. (We hate Keppra.)

But tonight, more episodes of Stranger Things Season 5 drop at 8pm CST, which means hoodies, blankets, snacks, and me on duty under the covers, supervising emotional reactions and medical things.

One of my favorite places to work.

🖤 FINAL TAKEOVER THOUGHTS

This Christmas isn’t loud.
It isn’t flashy.

It’s warm.
It’s lived in.

It’s full of good food, good memories, and love that didn’t leave when Bear did.

Service dogs aren’t decorations.
We’re not seasonal.

We’re family.
Every day of the year.

Okay.
Takeover complete.

Happy Howlidays,
-Luna Bean 🐾

© The Crippled Cryptid
Disability, honesty, and a little chaos.
https://linktr.ee/skylanarissa

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