Content Note: This post references chronic illness, medical monitoring, grief and loss, family complexity, and holiday stress. Please take care of yourself while reading.
Welcome back to The Crippled Cryptid, where disability, chronic illness, and service dogs collide. Lately, it’s also where the Service Dingo™ eyes us judgmentally and says, “Mama, sit your ass down.”
Preferably before gravity does it for us.
If you’re new here: hi, I’m Sky.
Professional cryptid.
Unwilling amateur cyborg.
Medically interesting enough to make half my providers sigh when they open my chart. I sigh too. Then I roll my eyes.
I live in a haunted meat suit with a highly questionable, out-of-date warranty. One that comes with accessories. The medical kind we didn’t ask for.
If you didn’t know, I’m currently fitted with a six-day continuous heart monitor. Not exactly a festive accessory, especially around the holidays.
Returning readers, welcome home.
New cryptids, welcome to the Lunatic Café.
Today’s menu:
Luna’s Tips for Surviving the Holidays (Even in Bed Jail™)
1. Claim Your Territory
Whether it’s a blanket fort, or a perfectly fluffed pillow, make your bed your fortress.
The couch will do, but lately, we’ve been happiest in Bed Jail™. That’s where the blanket mountain, all of my pillows, and most importantly, the heated blanket is.
Luna approves.
Her favorite spots just-so-happen to be on my legs, or laying between M&M and me when we’re watching shows from our watchlist, and M&M is sneaking her pieces of popcorn. Even a Service Dingo™ deserves rewards.
Optional: For next year, I might get her a heated blanket of her own.
2. Hydration Is Key
Always. Luna insists.
Personally, I love my Coldest 46oz Limitless water bottle in Baby Paws (black with glowing white pawprints). With multiple tops, Liquid IV or Prime Hydration packets, and sometimes Buoy rescue drops, staying hydrated is way easier than you’d think.
For humans: coffee, tea, or cocoa work too.
For Luna: a water bowl is non-negotiable.
Hydration = survival, for cryptids and humans alike.
3. Snack Strategically
Snacks are fuel… and moral support.
Chocolate is for humans; cheese is for all cryptids. Our mini fridge by Bed Jail™ keeps cheese, fresh veggies, and sometimes, when Keppra is extra spicy, plain salted potato chips.
Cuddles and snacks are currency, and yes, Luna approves of both. Sometimes, even Costco salmon skins sneak in before dinner.
4. Take Mini Adventures
Even a slow crawl to the corner table, or a peek out the window, counts as movement. Bonus points if there’s a dragon-shaped shadow involved.
Luna would prefer mini adventures that involve balls, new toys, or her favorite squeaky critters.
Remember: movement isn’t about productivity- it’s about survival and self-care.
5. Accept Cuddles as Currency
Extra pets are the reward for survival. Don’t argue with Luna on this one. She knows what she’s talking about.
Consent matters: just as you respect others’ boundaries, accept care when it’s offered.
Bed Jail™ is perfect for it.
6. Laugh at the Chaos
When holidays go sideways- people don’t show up, or forget promises- remember: a snort, a tail wag, or a strategically placed bork can fix almost anything.
This year was rough. We lost Bear before Halloween, and my health declined. Sometimes surviving means Bed Jail™, leftovers, or boxed mac and cheese for dinner. That’s okay. You are doing enough.
Dim the lights, put on your favorite playlist, or wear your coziest socks. Mini naps aren’t laziness- they’re strategy. Keep a few “joy items” nearby- things that make you snort, giggle, or wag your tail internally.
If your holidays didn’t look like anyone else’s highlight reel, you’re not broken. You’re surviving.
7. Found Family & Gratitude
A text, a small gift, or even a shared snack counts. You’re not alone in this messy, merry chaos.
I’m lucky to have the family that I do.
Without my aunt in Texas sending spicy bird food, our bird feeders would be empty. Without M&M’s Aunt Lise in Winnipeg, we might have given up on family entirely.
Sometimes found family is enough. Sometimes survival is enough. Both are enough.
Love you. Now say it back.
-Sky
© The Crippled Cryptid
Disability, honesty, and a little chaos.
If you’re here, you belong here.
If today was heavy, thank you for carrying it with me.
If you’re reading from Bed Jail™, give your service dog an extra scritch for me.
🔗 https://linktr.ee/skylanarissa
There’s never pressure to donate – reading, sharing, or simply staying is more than enough.
But if you’d like to support my ongoing journey toward health, stability, and mobility, you can do so here:
💜 https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-skys-journey-to-health-and-mobility
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