Luna Takeover: Puppy Love, Spells, and Survival 🐾💜

Luna’s Friday Takeover | Friday the 13th | Valentine’s Shenanigans

Content/Trigger Notes:
Mentions of chronic illness, MCAS, migraines, seizures, medical procedures (EEG), service dog tasks, emotional exhaustion, and minor stress humor.

Welcome to the Crippled Cryptid

Hi there, friends. I’m Luna Bean.
Medical alert service dog.
Certified Good Girl.
Full-time nervous system supervisor.
Mama’s body is dramatic, and my job is to notice before it steals the spotlight- especially today, it’s Friday the 13th and spooky date night.

I alert to migraines. Seizures. Heart rate spikes. Muscle spasms. Any vibes suspicious enough to deserve a second opinion. I interrupt spirals. I apply Deep Pressure Therapy like it’s a sacred ritual. I’m learning to retrieve what Mama drops when hands stop cooperating.

Some call me a dog. Others call me medical equipment.

Mama calls me her sassy spirit guide. I consider myself a very important partner. Maybe even a sidekick.

Most days move slowly. Some happen from Bed Jail™. That’s fine. I’m excellent at staying close and making sure Mama doesn’t drift too far away from herself.

And there’s also M&M. Mama #2. Belly rub-giver. Treat-giver. Emotional support human. She belongs to both of us.

This space? Chronic illness without shame.
Disability without performance.
Care without conditions. (And yes. There will be fur.)

If you’ve been here before, welcome back.
If you’re new, you’re safe here. I promise.
We always do our best to stay pawsitive! 🐾 Just like Mama #2’s coffee cup says.

Heads up- Chinese New Year is coming soon! It’ll be my first time celebrating, and yes, I’m buzzing with curiosity about all the lucky red things and maybe some tasty traditions. ❤️

On Today’s Menu: A Week in the Life- EEG Adventures and Sticky Situations

Last weekend started with the continuous wearable EEG. Normally three days. Honestly by the end, it felt like four months. The adhesive? A monster. I circled Mama constantly- ticking dog-bomb style. She itched left and right, especially when Mama #2 wasn’t watching. I snitched. I had to figure out: when do I alert, when do I nudge, when do I give the “sit your ass down, Mumther” signal?

Did Mumther listen? No! Mumther is very heckin’ stubborn. We do not like it when she is stubborn. So, we go from calling her Mama to Mumther, her full government name, when she is being the most difficult. I have strategies, of course.

Nighttime hypervigilance:

Nighttime was a whole other level. Mumther wasn’t sleeping well, tossing and turning, and every time she moved, I was right there- hovering, checking, making sure she stayed safe. Mama #2 hovered too, because they both knew something was off. One of those nights where even I barely closed my eyes.

MCAS? Not pleased. Migraines? Less pleased. Hair? The absolute least pleased. By Monday when Mama finally got the hateful wire monstrosity off it took four washes and three rounds of conditioner before she was glue-free- but I argued Monday should count as my victory day. New shampoo, oatmeal and coconut milk, winter-beaten skin finally soothed. Bath time? I’m picky, but yes, I felt better.

Why the fuss about shampoo? Mama and Mama #2 are very specific about what I can use. Some “pet safe” things aren’t safe at all- like tea tree oil. Pawrents, always double-check what you put on your pets.

Then came nails. Normally at Reese’s Barkery and Pawtique, now home edition thanks to a nail grinder Mama ordered. With Mama #2’s pep talks, tolerable. Still not my favorite, but progress. Once the family car is back and Reese’s recovers from the fire, I cannot wait to go see my favorite hoomans again.

Until then, this is something I know that we can handle.

This Week in Alerts:

• Migraines: 🟡 caution level
• MCAS flare: 🔴 full alert
• Spasms: 🟢 mostly contained

Amazon fail: missing present. Mumther? Not amused. Escalated to Karen-level anger. 2-day shipping is a promise, people.

Small victories: Instacart found Canada Dry Strawberry Splash. One case- not enough for the full buy 2 get 2 free promotion, but enough to make Mama #2 happy. Soda promotions are complicated, okay? So, Mama and Mama #2 compromised.

Yard Yeti even scored Mountain Dew Code Red.

My Mamas don’t drink that much soda but when it’s on sale like that, they try to stock up a little bit to save money. It has a long shelf-life. Meaning if you buy it and don’t drink it all right away, it’ll still be good in a month or two.

Winter is cold. Pawbalm is essential. ChuckIt KickFetch ball delivery delayed- but it arrived on Tuesday! Lucky for me, the Yard Yeti threw it a couple times before we went inside. Coywolves lurking outside at night, so no after-dark play. Safety first, fun later.

Soon- spring vibes, yard chaos, fetch happiness.

Tuesday’s crockpot beef stew night? Success. Warm, cozy, everyone happy. ❤️

Wednesday Weirdness & Shows We Love

No Fallout that night. Blank spaces where theme songs belong. Honestly, it felt wrong. Like Hazbin Hotel vibes. Shows off-air leave us hollow- but My Strange Addiction keeps Thursdays weirdly soothing.

Friday the 13th Vibes & Valentine’s Weekend

Mama’s lucky day, despite human superstitions. She likes keeping her grandfather’s wisdom alive: “love the unloveable.” Perfect for me and Bear.

What are your Rainbow Bridge theories? Call it wishful thinking, but I like to think human Heaven and the Rainbow Bridge connect. Pets get to gossip, check in on humans, make sure everyone’s okay. Bear would have liked her grandfather, and I’d like to think they’re hanging out somewhere up there. She always did say that he would have loved Bear… and me.

Tonight: “date night but make it spooky.” Valentine’s early.

• Mama #2’s famous meatballs
• Yard Yeti on tater tot duty
• Mama on marinara
• Me? Supervision. Vibes check. Nervous systems on lockdown. No funny business allowed. Especially not today.

Luna’s Love Prescription:

Do you have plans tonight? Pet your service dog. Extra treats for good luck. No service dog? Give pets anyway. Extra puppy love = scientifically proven morale magic. 🐾

Heads up: Chinese New Year celebration posts coming soon! I’ll be sniffing out lucky red envelopes, fireworks, and special snacks. Can’t wait to share my first experience! 🧧

Parting Words from Your Favorite Service Dingo

If something here felt familiar, you’re not alone.
If today asked too much, rest.
You don’t have to earn care.
You don’t have to prove pain.
You don’t have to be productive to be worthy.

I’ll be right here.
Watching Mama’s breathing.
Listening for quiet shifts.
Ready to interrupt, ground, or curl up as needed.

And ready to tuck in for Friday the 13^th date night. Because who doesn’t want to be part of that?

Want to spoil me? Mama made me my Amazon Wishlist. No pressure. Just an option for those who asked in the past.

Until next Friday,
Luna 🐾

© The Crippled Cryptid
Disability. Honesty. A little chaos.
(Absolutely all of the puppy love.)

🔗 https://linktr.ee/skylanarissa
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If you want to support the long, unglamorous work of survival and mobility:
💜 https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-skys-journey-to-health-and-mobility