Alerts | Soup | & False Spring Shenanigans
Content Notes: Chronic illness, medical alerts, mast cell reactions, medical appointments, stress related to current events.
Welcome to the Lunatic Café 🌻
Welcome to The Crippled Cryptid.
Disability.
Chronic illness.
Service dogs.
Survival without the performance.
If you’re new here, hi.
I’m Luna Bean. 🐾
Medical alert service dog.
Certified Good Girl.
Full-time nervous system supervisor.
Mama’s body is… how do I say this politely?
Um… very dramatic.
My job is to notice before it steals the spotlight.
I alert to:
• Migraines
• Seizures
• Heart rate spikes
• Muscle spasms
• Suspicious vibes that deserve a second opinion
I interrupt spirals.
I apply Deep Pressure Therapy like it’s a sacred ritual.
I’m learning to retrieve what Mama drops when her hands stop cooperating.
Some call me a dog.
Others call me medical equipment.
Mama calls me her freedom.
Some days she calls me her sassy little spirit guide.
But when she ignores every red flag and alert I throw at her, we have to break out her full government name and start calling her Mumther.
Personally, I consider myself a very important partner.
Maybe even a sidekick.
Most days move slowly. Some happen from Bed Jail™.
That’s okay. I’m excellent at staying close and making sure Mama doesn’t drift too far away from herself.
There’s also M&M.
Mama #2.
Belly-rub giver.
Treat giver.
Emotional support human.
She belongs to both of us.
This space is for:
Chronic illness without shame.
Disability without performance.
Care without conditions.
(And yes. There will absolutely be fur.)
If you’ve been here before, welcome back.
If you’re new?
You’re safe here. I promise.
Welcome to the Lunatic Café.
Friday Takeover: Weekly Check-In 🐾
Hi, hello!
Congratulations on surviving another week.
That means something different for everyone.
For some of you, I know the week was hard.
For others, maybe it was a little gentler.
Either way, you made it here.
And that counts.
For our friends in the USA, like we are, I hope you’re staying safe out there. Things feel tense lately, and Mama and Mama #2 have been trying to stay away from the news and TikTok and Facebook because the world sounds scary.
I don’t understand politics.
But I understand stress.
And the house has had that quiet worried energy this week.
So please remember:
Take your meds.
Drink water.
Eat something if you can.
Even a little bit counts.
Bodies are strange little creatures. They need fuel even when the brain says no.
Mama’s tummy has been hurting from stress, so I’ve been keeping a closer eye on things.
Luna’s Alert Meter This Week 🌻🐾
📊 Alert Activity:
🐾🐾🐾🐾 (4 out of 5 Paws)
This was a top-tier alert week, friends.
Between the weather doing interpretive dance, Mama’s migraines staging a rebellion, and the general stress vibes in the house, I felt like I was on duty almost all the time.
Not quite a full Fur-911 emergency week…
But definitely the kind where a service dog keeps one eye open during naps.
Mama has had a lot of migraines and headaches.
Part of the problem, I suspect, is something she calls False Spring Act 1.
Also known as:
Mud Season
Weather Whiplash
Or sometimes just Bullshit
One day it’s warm and sunny and Mama starts dreaming about planting tomatoes.
We’re on the deck more playing with my ball.
Laughing. Happy.
The next day?
Cold.
Rain.
Flurries.
The weather can’t make up its mind.
And when you’re Mama, that means your bones and joints start protesting loudly.
Very loudly.
And when Mama’s joints protest, the rest of her body threatens to throw furniture.
Personally, I think the furniture is innocent in all of this.
The MCAS Adventure
Mama did have her Xolair shots on Monday for MCAS.
She says she’s feeling a little better.
Personally, I remain skeptical.
I didn’t go to that appointment. Mama #2 did.
(The allergy office asked me to stay home because of allergy concerns. I still think this is rude, but apparently humans have rules. Even if the ADA says that allergies are not a reason to deny a fully trained service dog.)
The first appointment went fine.
The second one absolutely did not.
Someone in the office was wearing very strong perfume or cologne.
The kind that lingered long enough that I could still smell it when my mamas came home.
Which means it followed them:
Through the appointment
Through the building
Through the Uber ride
Mama’s hands swelled so much her ring had to come off.
That ring never comes off unless it’s for a CT scan or MRI.
She broke out in hives.
The office almost administered an epinephrine shot, but Mama #2 stepped in and explained they know the symptoms of anaphylaxis and would monitor very carefully.
Mama carries Benadryl and epi-pens in case of situations just like this one.
(Which is yet another reason Mama wants a car. Because then I could go with and keep up on alerts.)
Because if Mama had to be epi’d, she would have needed to go to the hospital.
And that was the last place she wanted to be.
Mama has gone to the hospital enough lately.
She did not want to spend her Monday there again.
All she wanted was to finish her appointment.
And come home to me.
Eventually she did.
With a whole boatload of fuss.
Recovery Protocol 🍲
Once they got home, the recovery plan began.
Step one:
Soup.
Mama and Mama #2 made potato and veggie soup.
Okay, the potato part was done for them… they just added a ton of veggies they had on hand.
Thank you food pantry!
Step two:
Turn on a new show called The Institute.
Step three:
Mama took a nap.
Excellent strategy.
No notes.
The rest of the week looked like:
Lots of phone calls.
Lots of resting.
Lots of “I don’t feel good” days.
And a whole lot of Bed Jail™.
We also had crockpot beef stew.
Leftovers are considered a survival strategy in this house.
Because when everyone feels terrible, having dinner already made is basically magic.
Today’s Mission: Cardiology
By the time you read this, Mama and Mama #2 are probably getting ready for Mama’s cardiologist appointment at 1:45 this afternoon.
Me?
I’m staying home.
Because it’s going to rain.
Again.
And I do not like rain.
So, I’ll be guarding what used to be Bear’s favorite couch spot, staring out the window and waiting for my mamas to return.
Someone has to keep the legacy of professional couch supervision alive.
Bear would expect nothing less.
Sometimes a service dog’s job is alerts.
Sometimes it’s grounding.
Sometimes it’s simply being the little heartbeat that keeps the house feeling safe.
Tonight’s Very Important Event 📺
Tonight is a very serious household event.
New episode night.
Season 2 Episode 2 of Monarch: Legacy of Monsters.
We watched Season 1 way too fast and are now completely obsessed.
My duties during TV night include:
Snack supervision
Bed snuggles
Emotional support staring
Dinner will probably be something in the crockpot.
Which is perfect.
Warm.
Easy.
Like a hug in a bowl.
Something that can be started before the appointment and not thought about again.
Mama grabbed a piece of beef out of the freezer the night before last to thaw.
So, it looks like tonight might be beef and potatoes.
Before I Go 🐾
For anyone keeping track at home, this week landed at a solid 4-paw alert level.
Which means Mama needed a lot of monitoring, grounding, and approximately twelve million quality-control snuggles.
Thankfully I am extremely qualified.
If something here felt familiar, you’re not alone.
If today asked too much of you, it’s okay to rest.
You don’t have to earn care.
You don’t have to prove pain.
You don’t have to be productive to be worthy.
I’ll be right here.
Watching Mama’s breathing.
Listening for quiet shifts.
Ready to interrupt, ground, or curl up as needed.
I’ll keep watch from the couch.
If you want to spoil me, Mama did make me an Amazon Wishlist.
No expectations.
It’s just there for people who like sending love in chew toy or ball form.
Until next Friday,
Stay safe everypuppy.
Luna 🐾
(on behalf of Mama and Mama #2)
© The Crippled Cryptid
Disability. Honesty. A little chaos.
(And absolutely dog fur.)
🔗 https://linktr.ee/skylanarissa
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