Low Spoons | High Chaos | & a Full Mario Day Feast
Mario Day has arrived in the Cryptid’s Den. That means low spoons, high chaos, a couch full of snacks, and several rounds of Mario Party where friendships will absolutely be tested. If you’ve ever celebrated something small just because joy is worth protecting, pull up a seat.
Content Note: mentions of chronic illness, disability, fatigue, and strong language.
Welcome Back to the Cryptid’s Den
This is The Crippled Cryptid, a soft-lit corner of the internet where disability, chronic illness, service dogs, and everyday survival magic gather like familiar spirits who know when to sit quietly and when to scream “TASTE BEES” at your partner across the living room.
If you’re new here: hi. I’m Sky.
Around here we believe in small joys, loud laughter, and the radical act of making space for ourselves even when our bodies are being extremely dramatic about it.
Professional cryptid.
Unwilling amateur cyborg.
Occasional chronic illness and disability advocate.
Medically interesting enough to make half my providers sigh when they open my chart.
I sigh too. Loudly.
I survive by drinking too much coffee and saying the word “fuck” whenever medically necessary.
I live in a haunted meat suit with a deeply suspicious warranty. I spend a lot of time in Bed Jail™. I am almost never alone thanks to my medical alert service dog, Luna. She’s part guardian, part shadow, and part tiny voice reminding me that I am absolutely not allowed to topple over during intense Mario Party battles.
Every so often she wanders through the room like a very patient hall monitor, making sure nobody forgets their water.
She has also appointed herself Head of Hydration Enforcement.
And then there’s M&M.
She’s never far. Always there with the 90% when I only have 10 to give.
On MAR10, she is almost certainly wearing Mario pajama pants, a Mario hoodie, and a Mario Kart shirt underneath, just in case the vibe escalates.
Because today is March 10th.
Even the calendar says MARIO.
Today’s Special Edition: MAR10 🍄
The controllers are out.
The coins are counted.
The mushrooms are cleaned and ready to be sautéed.
I’m probably Bowser.
M&M is almost definitely Peach.
Meaning Luna is unofficially Bowser Jr.
The living room is about to become a battlefield of stars, shells, dice blocks, and deeply questionable luck.
No matter who wins, it’ll be a lot of fun.
This is not a short affair.
This is Mario Day.
So, we planned accordingly.
When your body is unpredictable, small traditions become anchors.
Today’s Menu: A Full Mario Day Spread
This is a low-spoons, high-joy menu designed to fuel couch gaming from morning warm-ups to late-night Mario Kart chaos.
Meaning: as little prep as possible.
Maximum snack efficiency. Calories do not count here.
🍄🎮 MARIO DAY MENU 🎮🍄
Fuel for heroic gaming, kart racing, and dramatic Mario Party betrayals.
🌞 Level One: Breakfast / Brunch
Start the day with a power-up.
🥯 Bagels with Cream Cheese
Simple. Classic. A dependable starter item.
Easy to spruce up with preserves if you’re feeling fruity, or something savory otherwise.
OR, if we’re feeling fancy:
🍳 Egg & Cheese Bagel Sandwiches
For when you need a stronger buff before entering the first round of battle.
🥪 Level Two: Lunch
Quick fuel between rounds.
🥪 Simple Deli Sandwiches
Choose your favorite classic fillings.
🪙 Chips
Crunchy coin-shaped energy for the next level.
🌭 Final Level: Dinner
The boss battle meal.
🌭 Hot Dogs or Burgers
Burger builds include:
🍄 Mushroom & Swiss– for Sky & M&M
🧀 Colby-Jack- for the legendary Yard Yeti, even if he doesn’t play Mario with us.
🥔 Tater Tots
Golden crispy victory coins.
(Also, the Yard Yeti’s assigned quest.)
🍿 All-Day Snack Stash
Available at the Couch Checkpoint.
🍿 Popcorn
🎮 Chips and cheese
🥒 Pickle chips
🍬 Sour Candies
Perfect for grabbing between rounds of Smash Bros, Mario Party, or chaotic kart races.
This is what culinary professionals call a balanced Mario diet: carbs, cheese, and emotional damage from Mario Party.
⭐ Bonus Level: Dessert
Unlocked after the dinner boss battle.
🍨 Ice Cream
Luna’s Side Quest
No Mario Day is complete without Luna.
Her reward today:
🐟 Salmon Skin Snacks
Rebranded for the day as Cheep Cheep Skins.
She is included.
She is honored.
She is judging us with both eyes.
The Game Plan
The rules are simple.
Grab a snack.
Grab a controller.
Dive into chaos.
Do I know exactly which game we’re going to start with?
No.
But I have a good feeling it’s going to be Mario Fortune Street on the Wii.
Yes. The Wii.
Yes. We still play it.
Yes. We specifically bought AA batteries for this.
If those die, we will 100% be stealing the Yard Yeti’s rechargeable ones.
I know there are people out there scratching their heads wondering if people still play the Wii, and the answer is yes. I’m one of them.
I’m one of those weird people who likes to keep their game systems.
Especially when certain systems have started giving out game codes instead of physical copies. Because when the online servers go offline someday, that game you bought might disappear forever.
You know what systems don’t do that?
The Nintendo Wii.
Where I have a physical disc copy of the game I want to play.
Do I need to worry about my batteries dying?
Yes.
Do I need to worry about someone deciding my favorite game is obsolete and taking it away?
Nope.
Taking away a game that I have paid $50+ for is bullshit. I don’t care if you’ve developed a “brand new” game system that you think is better. You aren’t reimbursing me for the money that I’ve put into this one so shut up and don’t take away my things.
Okay? Okay.
The Chaos Rotation
After that we might switch to Mario Party Jamboree on the Switch.
I’ve been playing Mario Party since the beginning, and Jamboree is great because it includes mini-games from older versions.
Mini-games you normally wouldn’t see unless you still own something like a GameCube. Like us.
Like Eatsa Pizza.
One of my favorites.
And one of M&M’s favorites too.
Honestly, I wish Nintendo would do this more often. Re-release older games for newer systems so people who grew up with them can still play.
Because even when you keep your old consoles, hardware ages.
Controllers break.
Discs get scratched.
Systems eventually decide they’ve had enough.
And when that happens, sometimes those games are just gone.
Which really sucks.
Because even if you go out and buy another one second hand, you don’t know how the first person who owned it treated it. And you don’t know how much time you’re going to have with your “new” system or game before it breaks again.
Picture This
Mario Party begins.
Friendships are tested.
Dice rolls become personal attacks.
The Taste Bees mini-game permanently enters our vocabulary.
At some point, inevitably, Mario Kart Wii enters the rotation.
The pajama pants demand it.
The hoodie insists.
The Wii, cherished and operational, rises to the occasion.
Luna, Referee of Chaos
Luna supervises it all.
One blue eye.
One brown eye.
Fully aware that this is nonsense.
Deeply invested anyway.
She is the referee.
She is the nap coordinator.
She occasionally sighs the long-suffering sigh of a dog who cannot believe her humans are yelling about digital bananas again.
She insists we drink water.
That we remember to take breaks.
That we eat something.
And that we have fun.
Occasionally, we toss her toy.
Maybe we give her a treat and some belly rubs but aside from that, she is content.
The Real Point of Mario Day
Not winning.
Not perfect execution.
Just shared joy.
Shared laughter.
Shared chaos.
Whether you’re playing, watching, napping on the couch, or just here for the snacks, it still counts.
MAR10 is a reminder that some of the best days are built out of small, silly rituals.
Food you can eat with one hand.
Games that make you laugh too hard.
People who stay when things get messy.
Controllers in hand.
Snacks within reach.
Chaos at maximum.
Sometimes surviving the day is the victory screen.
If you grew up with Mario like I did, drop your favorite Mario game in the comments and tell me how you’re celebrating MAR10 Day.
Are you Team Mario Kart chaos?
A Mario Party betrayal survivor?
Or one of the legends who still remembers the original NES days?
Love you. Now say it back.
–Sky Bowser
© The Crippled Cryptid
Disability, honesty, and a little chaos.
If you’re here, you belong here.
If today was heavy, thank you for carrying it with me.
If you’re reading from Bed Jail™, give your service dog an extra scritch for me.
And if you have a controller handy, you know what to do.
Grab a snack.
Hit start.
May your mini-game luck be slightly better than mine.
🏆 Today’s Achievement Unlocked:
Celebrated something small anyway.
🔗 https://linktr.ee/skylanarissa
There’s never pressure to donate. Reading, sharing, or simply staying is more than enough.
But if you’d like to support my ongoing journey toward health, stability, and mobility, you can do so here:
💜 https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-skys-journey-to-health-and-mobility
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