The last check-in before surgery, a growing family, one very excited service dingo, and a Jeep that’s already collecting badges.

Welcome to The Crippled Cryptid’s Saturday Health Update.

This is your gentle heads up before we begin.

These posts talk openly about chronic illness, disability, medical trauma, surgery, symptoms, migraines, hospital visits, grief, and the beautifully messy reality of living in a body that doesn’t always cooperate.

Some weeks are soft reflections.

Some weeks are heavier.

Please check in with yourself before reading and come back when you’re in the right headspace if today isn’t the day.

No one will ever judge you for skipping a post here.

The Lunatic Café will keep your seat warm. Always.

🇺🇸 Red, White & BOOM

Happy Fourth of July, my friends.

I hope you’re reading this with something delicious on the grill, something cold to drink, and all ten fingers still accounted for.

Around here, we’re celebrating the holiday the same way we celebrate most things.

With snacks.

Controlled explosions.

An alarming amount of sunscreen. Your ghoul likes to remain pasty, okay?

Or as the Yard Yeti likes to put it, looking anemic and half-dead looking.

And enough medical equipment nearby that the neighbors probably think I’m secretly building Iron Man in the basement.

If you’re new here…

Hi.

I’m Sky.

Professional cryptid.

Unwilling amateur cyborg…

…although if everything goes according to plan, July 9th might finally be the last time I introduce myself that way.

Author.

Occasional chronic illness and disability advocate.

Today’s Fourth of July hostess.

And medically complicated enough that my chart reads less like paperwork and more like a horror anthology.

Most days are spent inside a haunted meat suit with a questionable warranty and a long-standing feud with my nervous system.

I survive on sarcasm, stubborn hope, whatever snacks survived the week, and a medically concerning amount of coffee. Or it might be if my Cardiologist thought that POTS was real, and would stop calling it the “TikTok disease.”

I’ve also become rather well acquainted with Bed Jail™.

Thankfully…

I’m rarely serving my sentence alone.

There’s Luna.

My medical alert service dog.

Guardian.

Enforcer.

Professional Service Dingo™.

Tiny chaos gremlin who absolutely awarded herself an honorary medical degree.

She’s the little voice saying,

“Hey. Sit down.”

And when I ignore her…

“Mumther… we are NOT negotiating with your bad decisions today.”

I’ve always joked she’s less service dog and more spirit guide with teeth.

When you’re exceptionally talented at ignoring your own warning signs, that’s exactly the kind of coworker you need.

Then there’s M&M.

My Player Two.

My safe place to land.

The one who quietly appears with ginger ale, soup, heating pads, and enough calm to keep the whole world from tipping sideways when my body decides today’s the day we’re making poor life choices.

When I have 10%, she somehow finds the other 90%.

She reminds me that survival has never been a solo campaign.

But don’t forget about the Yard Yeti.

My little brother, and still somehow the tallest creature in the house.

Luna’s best friend, the one who throws her ball the furthest.

But that’s not even all because our Den has been expanding lately as our family expands.

And you know what? I kinda like it.

This space has always been about chronic illness without inspiration porn.

Disability without apologies.

Honesty without pretending everything wraps itself up with a hopeful little bow.

There will almost certainly be dog hair involved.

If you’ve been here before…

Welcome home.

If you’re new…

Pull up a chair.

Nobody has to audition to belong at the Lunatic Café.

Weather: 1

Sky’s Nervous System: 0

Illinois has apparently decided to celebrate Independence Day by throwing us into another ridiculous heat wave before seasoning everything with surprise thunderstorms.

My migraines have been absolutely loving that.

(That was sarcasm.)

Between the humidity, the pressure changes, and storms appearing out of absolutely nowhere, my nervous system has been playing meteorological roulette all week.

I’ve been hydrating like a very anxious houseplant.

Taking my medications.

Living in dark rooms.

Avoiding the sun whenever possible.

And repeatedly telling myself,

“Surely that was the last storm.”

Reader…

It never was.

Thankfully, we’re still upright.

Slightly crispy.

Slightly caffeinated.

But upright.

The Rumors Were True 🐾

If you happened to miss Luna’s Friday Takeover yesterday…

The rumors I’ve been teasing are officially true.

We’re getting a puppy.

He’ll be coming home on the last Sunday of July.

His official name is still under debate, but one thing has already been decided.

He’s perfect.

An absolute potato.

The kind that’s somehow ninety percent ears, oversized paws, and sleepy puppy sighs.

Now…

I know exactly what some people are probably thinking.

“Sky… isn’t that a lot right after surgery?”

Believe me.

We thought about it too.

The difference is…

He kind of fell into our lives at the right time.

An oops litter from my cousin…

We know the parents…

And…

I’m incredibly lucky.

I’ll have M&M.

I’ll have the Yard Yeti.

I’ll have family who can pick up the things I physically can’t while I heal.

And we intentionally chose an outgoing, gentle little cuddlebug who’ll be just as happy snoozing beside me as he is discovering the world.

While I’m recovering…

He’ll have Luna.

And Luna…

I think she’ll finally have something she’s quietly missed.

Ever since we lost Bear, our house has felt different.

Not wrong.

Not empty.

Just…

Different.

No dog will ever replace Bear.

That isn’t how love works.

There isn’t a vacancy in your heart that another soul simply fills.

Love expands.

It makes room.

But I also know Luna misses having another dog in ways I simply can’t replace.

Dogs speak a language we’ll never fully understand.

They play differently.

Comfort differently.

Communicate differently.

There are pieces of companionship another dog can offer that even the most devoted human never can.

More than anything…

I can’t wait to watch her become whoever she’s meant to become next.

Maybe she’ll rediscover little pieces of herself she tucked away after Bear.

Maybe she’ll become someone entirely new.

Either way…

I get front row seats.

And I can’t wait to introduce all of you to our newest little cryptid.

🐾 Luna Notes

Hello.

It is I.

Professional Service Dingo™.

Mama requested that I “keep this short.”

I have declined.

Important announcements:

• Tiny Potato arrives later this month.

• I have reviewed approximately fourteen photographs.

• Tiny Potato appears acceptable.

• I intend to teach him important subjects including Ball Retrieval, Couch Snuggling, Neighborhood Patrol, and How To Convince Mumther That Breakfast Was Never Actually Served.

Mama says I am expected to be a “good influence.”

This seems unlikely.

Also…

Fireworks remain illegal according to my personal constitution.

The sky should not bark.

If your humans are celebrating today, please remind them that we dogs appreciate snacks, quiet rooms, comfy blankets, lick mats, and generally fewer sky explosions.

Respectfully,

Luna Bean

Professional Service Dingo™

Future Big Sister™

Still Opposed To Sky Booms™

Pumpkin Earned Her First Badge of Honor 🎃

Speaking of exciting news…

Pumpkin officially earned her very first Jeep Badge of Honor!

Not just digitally…

The physical badge is officially on its way to us.

I was way more excited about this than any reasonable adult probably should have been.

It’s the America 250 Badge.

But here’s the thing.

Pumpkin has already become so much more than transportation.

She’s carried mobility aids.

Medical supplies.

Service dog gear.

Groceries.

Emergency coffee runs.

Doctor’s appointments.

Adventure days.

Some really hard days.

And some incredibly beautiful ones.

She carried me into this chapter of my life.

Now she’ll be carrying me into the next one.

Nightmare, our original Renegade, never earned a Badge of Honor.

So, watching Pumpkin earn hers somehow feels bigger than a little metal badge.

A little bittersweet. A little beautiful. Extremely emotional.

It feels like another reminder that we’re moving forward.

One trail at a time.

One adventure at a time.

Here’s hoping it’s the first of many.

Family Looks Different Now

Today is also my older brother’s birthday.

Happy Birthday, you big weirdo. ❤️

I hope this next year is gentle to you.

We invited him over for today’s barbecue.

Whether he ends up making it or not honestly isn’t the important part.

The invitation is.

That still makes me smile.

Life has been doing funny things lately.

Somewhere along the way…

I somehow ended up with another older brother, too.

If you’d told me a few years ago that my family tree was going to start growing bonus branches, I probably would’ve laughed.

Now?

It feels perfectly normal.

My family looks different these days.

Bigger.

Louder.

Filled with more laughter.

More people around the table.

More people checking in.

Different isn’t automatically bad.

Sometimes…

Different is exactly what healing looks like.

I’m grateful for every wonderfully chaotic second of it.

The Weird Thing About Surgery…

The weird thing about surgery isn’t actually the surgery.

It’s how life refuses to pause around it.

Birthdays still happen.

Puppies still get born.

Jeep badges still arrive in the mail.

The grill still needs lighting.

Friends still text.

The grocery store still forgets at least one thing on your list.

Life keeps blooming around the scary parts.

Maybe…

That’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.

I won’t pretend I’m not nervous.

Surgery is still surgery.

But I’ve also learned something over the years.

Fear and hope aren’t opposites.

Sometimes they sit quietly beside each other in the waiting room.

I’ll be bringing both with me.

This is the last Saturday Health Update before July 9th.

The next one…

I’ll be writing from the other side.

Hopefully with significantly less abandoned medical hardware inside me.

If you’re someone who keeps me in your thoughts…

Your prayers.

Your crossed fingers.

Your good vibes.

Or whatever version of hope you carry with you…

I’ll gladly take it.

Red, White & Relax

As I’m writing this, it’s already 81 degrees outside here in Illinois.

I’ve been running around making sure we have enough plates, cups, silverware, napkins, drinks, and all those little things that somehow become emergencies fifteen minutes before guests arrive.

The plan is simple.

Barbecue.

Fireworks.

Good food.

Better company.

And something I haven’t really had in years.

Family time.

Not because my family wasn’t enough before.

But because it’s grown.

And that’s a beautiful thing.

I have a feeling today’s going to be a really good day.

Luna strongly disagrees with one part of today’s itinerary.

She’ll be safely inside with her CBD, her favorite lick mat, plenty of snacks, and as far away from the sky booms as physically possible.

As always…

We’ll celebrate in a way that’s safe for everyone in our pack.

Until Next Saturday…

If something here hit close to home…

Thank you for staying.

Whether today finds you surrounded by family…

Spending the holiday quietly…

Working…

Recovering…

Or simply trying to survive another difficult week…

There’s always a seat waiting for you here.

Before you head out…

A little check-in from one haunted meat suit to another.

💜 Take your medications if it’s time.

💜 Drink some water.

💜 Eat something, even if it’s only a few bites.

💜 Rest when your body asks you to.

There aren’t any gold stars for suffering in silence.

There never were.

Surviving still counts.

Happy Fourth of July, my friends.

Be kind.

Be safe.

Hug your people.

Hug your dogs if they’ll allow it.

And if next week’s update arrives with a few extra stitches, a little more optimism, and significantly fewer pieces of abandoned medical hardware inside me…

I think we’ll call that progress.

Until next time,

Sky

The Crippled Cryptid

Disability. Honesty. Survival without the performance.

🔗 https://linktr.ee/skylanarissa

Reading, sharing, laughing with me, or simply existing alongside me has always been enough.

If you’d like to support the long, often unglamorous work of healing and reclaiming mobility, you can also visit my GoFundMe.

Thank you for spending part of your Fourth of July with me.

I’ll see you after surgery.

Hopefully with fewer robot parts.

💜 https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-skys-journey-to-health-and-mobility