Certified Good Girl. Professional Bed Jail Security. Accepting Payment in Treats.

Content Note: This post contains discussion of surgery recovery, chronic illness, disability, and post-operative healing.

Welcome to The Crippled Cryptid.

Disability, chronic illness, service dogs, and survival without the performance.

If you’re new here, hi.

I’m Luna Bean.

Medical alert service dog.

Certified Good Girl.

Full-time nervous system supervisor.

Mama’s nervous system likes to improvise.

My job is to notice before it steals the spotlight.

I alert to migraines.

Seizures.

Heart rate spikes.

Muscle spasms.

And any vibes suspicious enough to deserve a second opinion.

I interrupt spirals.

I apply Deep Pressure Therapy like it’s a sacred ritual.

Because you know something? It is.

I’m learning to retrieve the things Mama drops when her hands stop cooperating.

Some people call me a dog.

Others call me medical equipment.

Mama calls me her freedom.

I consider myself a very important partner.

Maybe even the hero of this story.

Mama says I have “Main Character Energy.”

I’m still figuring out what that means.

Most days move a little slower around here.

Some happen entirely from Bed Jail™.

That’s okay.

I’m exceptionally qualified at staying close and making sure Mama doesn’t drift too far away from herself.

Then there’s Mama #2.

Professional belly-rub giver.

Treat distributor.

Emotional support human.

She belongs to both of us.

Don’t forget the Yard Yeti, either.

Mama’s little brother.

Still somehow the tallest creature in the house.

My best friend.

The human who throws my tennis balls the furthest.

The one who shouts “Lulus!” loud enough for my whole body to wag.

The giver of premium-quality borkies, boings, and zoomies.

And our pack just keeps getting bigger.

Grandpaw.

Kim.

My uncles.

Como.

Aggie.

Baby Amity arriving soon.

My baby brother, Potato™ arriving soon.

More people to love.

More people to protect.

More people who throw tennis balls, and doggies to play with.

(That last one is extremely important.)

This space is for chronic illness without shame.

Disability without performance.

Care without conditions.

And yes…

There will absolutely be dog fur.

If you’ve been here before, welcome back.

If you’re new…

You’re safe here.

Welcome to the Lunatic Café.

Today’s special is Friday Takeover.

🐾 Before We Begin…

Have you had water yet?

Be honest.

Mama likes pretending coffee is a meal.

It is not.

Coffee may accompany a meal.

Coffee may follow a meal.

Coffee may even become dessert.

It may never become the whole meal.

If you haven’t had any water today…

Go grab some.

I’ll wait.

…

Good.

Now we can continue.

🐾 Post-Op Patrol

Today’s update is going to be a little shorter.

Mama had her foraminotomy yesterday.

That means she’s really sore.

But she’s home.

And that’s my favorite place for her to be.

The doctors said she’s allowed to be up more today.

Walking.

Showering.

Doing little things.

As long as she doesn’t lift more than fifty pounds.

Personally…

I don’t think any of us, including Mama’s body, are planning on testing that rule.

Instead, today’s treatment plan includes:

Lots of blankets.

Ginger ale.

Naps.

More naps.

And leftover Chinese food.

Because that’s exactly what Mama wanted after surgery.

Unfortunately, I have been informed that Beef and Snow Peas is “not appropriate for puppies.”

I have filed an official complaint.

We still have to pick up her medicine from the pharmacy.

Apparently, we’re doing that on a “play it by ear” basis.

Humans say very confusing things.

🐾 Pack Report

I knew something important was happening this week.

The house got quieter.

The lists got longer.

Mama and Mama #2 kept checking bags.

Medicines.

Calendars.

Humans get funny before big things.

They worry with their whole bodies.

So, I did what I always do.

I stayed close.

Because sometimes helping doesn’t mean fixing anything.

Sometimes helping just means making sure nobody has to be scared by themselves.

This week reminded me what pack really means.

Families don’t all look the same.

Sometimes they’re the people you live with.

Sometimes they’re the people who show up with ginger ale.

Sometimes they’re the people checking in to make sure you’ve eaten.

Sometimes they’re the people fluffing pillows, picking up medicine, helping you shower safely, or quietly sitting beside you while you sleep.

That’s pack.

And I think we’ve got a pretty wonderful one.

Mama keeps thanking everybody for taking care of her.

But I think Mama #2 deserves some thank-yous too.

She packed the hospital bag.

She helped get the house ready.

She keeps reminding Mama to eat.

She helps with medicine.

She makes sure both of us are okay.

Humans who take care of other humans sometimes forget to take care of themselves.

If you’ve got someone like that in your life…

Maybe tell them thank you today.

They deserve treats too.

(Human treats. Like tacos. Or coffee. Or naps.)

🐾 Patient Report

Patient: Mama

Mood: Sleepy.

Pain Level: Rude.

Hydration: Improving.

Snack Status: Chinese food secured.

Medicine: Incoming.

Blanket Situation: Excellent.

Treat Distribution: Acceptable… but always open to improvement.

Overall Prognosis: Healing nicely with continued cuddles.

I know Mama is healing because today…

She smiled more than she winced.

I think that’s how you measure progress sometimes.

🐾 Today’s Important Lesson

Recovery is work.

Rest is work too.

Humans keep acting like resting means “doing nothing.”

But Mama says healing is one of the hardest jobs your body ever does.

So, if you’re resting today…

You’re still doing something important.

You don’t have to earn care.

You don’t have to prove pain.

You don’t have to be productive to deserve kindness.

🐾 Extra Treat Announcement

Mama says I’ve been working very hard.

Which means I have officially been promoted to Extra Treat Status™.

I’ve also received additional belly rubs.

More snuggles.

And at least seventeen compliments about being “the best girl.”

I agree with this assessment.

Thanks for spending part of your Friday with me.

If something here felt familiar…

You’re not alone.

If today asked too much of you…

It’s okay to rest.

I’ll be right here.

Watching Mama’s breathing.

Listening for the quiet shifts.

Ready to alert.

Ready to ground.

Ready to lean in for Deep Pressure Therapy.

Or simply ready to curl up beside the people I love.

That’s what family does.

That’s what pack does.

If you’d like to spoil me, Mama did make me an Amazon Wishlist.

There is never any expectation.

Reading, sharing, commenting, and simply being here already means the world to our little pack.

But if sending love in chew toy form happens to be your thing…

I certainly won’t object.

Until next Friday,

Luna 🐾

(on behalf of Mama)

© The Crippled Cryptid

Disability. Honesty. A little chaos.

(Absolutely dog fur and puppy love.)

🔗 https://linktr.ee/skylanarissa

No pressure to donate. Reading, sharing, and spending time with us are already incredible gifts.

If you’d like to support the long, unglamorous work of survival, healing, accessibility, and mobility, you can also visit our GoFundMe.

From our pack to yours…

Take care of yourselves.

And don’t forget to drink your water.

(Yes. I’m looking at you.)