Content Note: Mentions of chronic illness, medical episodes, severe weather (including tornado warnings and flooding), and fatigue.
Welcome to The Crippled Cryptid.
Disability, chronic illness, service dogs, and survival without the performance.
If you’re new here, hi.
I’m Luna Bean.
Medical alert service dog.
Certified Good Girl.
Full-time nervous system supervisor.
Mama’s body is very dramatic.
It doesn’t mean she’s exaggerating. It means her body likes plot twists.
Lots of them…
My job is to notice before it steals the spotlight.
I alert to:
• Migraines
• Seizures
• Heart rate spikes
• Muscle spasms
• And any vibes suspicious enough to deserve a second opinion
I interrupt spirals.
I apply Deep Pressure Therapy like it’s a sacred ritual.
(Because it is.)
I’m learning to retrieve what Mama drops when hands stop cooperating.
Some call me a dog.
Others call me medical equipment.
Mama calls me her freedom.
I consider myself a very important partner.
Maybe even a sidekick.
Mama also says I have “main character energy” whatever the fluff that means.
Most days move slowly. Some happen from Bed Jail™.
That’s fine. I’m excellent at staying close and making sure Mama doesn’t drift too far away from herself.
There’s also M&M.
Mama #2.
Belly rub-giver. Treat-giver. Emotional support human.
She picks out my bandanas, brushes my fur, and makes sure that I look pretty.
She belongs to both of us.
And don’t forget the Yard Yeti.
He’s my best friend.
Mama’s little brother, even if he is really, really tall.
He mans the Yard Cow. (Also called the tractor.)
And throws my ball the absolute best.
This space is for:
Disability without shame.
Chronic illness without performance.
Care without conditions.
(And yes. There will be fur.)
If you’ve been here before, welcome back.
If you’re new, you’re safe here.
Welcome to the Lunatic Café.
On Today’s Menu: Friday Takeover
Hi, hello! Sit, stay!
Good human. 🐾
Before we get started…
Did you eat something today?
Did you drink some water?
And don’t be Mama. She likes to say coffee is a meal.
It is not. I have checked.
…I can wait.
Mama says I’m very good at waiting.
Sometimes when I tell her to do things, she thinks she can out-stubborn me until I get bored.
She does not understand that Australian Cattle Dogs are built like tiny, patient storms.
I will outwait her every time.
This Week: Suspiciously Quiet
This week has been… quiet.
Which is strange.
The kind of quiet that makes me squint at the horizon and go,
“Hmm. I don’t trust you.”
But it’s also been nice.
Even if the weather has not.
Because Illinois has been doing the most lately.
We had rain.
So much rain.
Tornado sirens almost every day.
That’s the kind of sound that makes humans very still, even if they pretend they’re used to it.
Rosie the Robot (our kitchen Alexa) announcing flood warnings every 10–15 minutes like she was narrating a disaster movie.
Mama started yelling at her. Telling her to “shut up” because “we get it already.”
The Fox River keeps rising.
We’re okay.
We live up on a big hill, out of the floodwater’s reach.
Not everyone is that lucky.
Mama has been checking on friends and neighbors a lot.
She worries. It’s one of her things.
Weather Whiplash & Bed Jail™
Then winter tried to sneak back in like it forgot something.
Cold.
Heat back on.
Two days of Mama not sleeping and not feeling good.
I stayed close.
(Obviously.)
Important Human Developments
Mama met her dad a couple of weeks ago.
Saturday, Ancestry confirmed what we already know.
He’s coming back on Sunday.
I approved him the first time.
He called me a pretty girl.
Played with me.
Threw my ball.
Gave excellent butt scratches.
This is what we call a strong résumé.
Mama says if I didn’t like him, he wouldn’t be allowed back.
She believes in:
“If my dog doesn’t like you, that says everything.”
She is correct.
Also, Mama says he’s bringing his wife this time.
Which means I have more humans to evaluate.
Not in a scary way.
In a “this is my person and I will be checking your vibes thoroughly” way.
There will be sniff tests.
I take this very seriously.
The Return of the Yard Yeti (and the Yard Cow Debate)
The Yard Yeti brought the tractor back to life.
He mowed the lawn for the first time this year.
Mama says she’s going to buy black and white paint and a big bell so Mama #2 can turn it into a cow.
So, I can have a “yard cow.”
Because I am a cattle dog.
With no cows.
I think this is ridiculous.
I will herd it anyway.
Yellow.
Cow-colored.
Doesn’t matter.
I will still yell at BJ while he mows, hoping he comes down to play with me.
Spring Has Entered the Chat
Deck furniture is out.
The hummingbird feeder is up.
And today…
We saw our first hummingbird.
Mama says that means it’s officially spring again in the Midwest.
She’s very happy about it.
The yard is full of violets, the tiny purple ones Mama loves like they personally showed up just for her.
Tulips are coming in.
(No purple ones yet. This is apparently a tragedy.)
The garden is surrounded by chives.
She’s already dreaming about planting vegetables.
The Morning Ball Ritual
Every morning this week, Mama has taken me outside while waiting for her coffee.
Even if it’s just a few throws from the deck.
Is Mama a morning person?
Absolutely not.
Is she a morning ghoul who does it anyway because it makes me happy?
Yes.
And that matters.
Sometimes love looks like showing up half-awake with a cup of coffee in one hand and a tennis ball in the other.
Before You Go
Thanks for staying with us.
If something here felt familiar, you’re not alone.
If today asked too much of you, it’s okay to rest.
You don’t have to earn care.
You don’t have to prove pain.
You don’t have to be productive to be worthy.
I’ll be right here.
Watching Mama’s breathing.
Listening for the quiet shifts.
Ready to interrupt, ground, or curl up as needed.
Mama Note 🖤
Hi. Just me for a second.
This week being “quiet” is the kind of thing that feels like a gift and a warning at the same time when you live in a body like mine.
We’re taking it gently.
We’re taking it gratefully.
We’re not questioning it too loudly in case it hears us.
Luna has been… everything.
Thank you for being here with us, whether you’re reading from your own version of Bed Jail™ or catching a quiet moment in between.
-Sky
Optional Spoiling (Entirely Your Choice)
If you want to spoil me, Mama made me an Amazon Wishlist.
No expectations. Ever.
Just there for people who like sending love in ball or chew toy form.
Until next Friday,
Luna 🐾
(on behalf of Mamas and the Yard Cow)
© The Crippled Cryptid
Disability. Honesty. A little chaos.
(Absolutely dog fur and puppy love.)
🔗 https://linktr.ee/skylanarissa
No pressure to donate. Reading and sharing count.
💜 https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-skys-journey-to-health-and-mobility
P.S.
If you didn’t drink water, this is your second reminder.
I am still watching you.
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