One hard week, a growing pack, a little self-care, and a very important reminder from your favorite service dingo.

Welcome to The Crippled Cryptid.

Disability.
Chronic illness.
Service dogs.
Dogs being dogs.
And survival without the performance.

If you’re new here…

Hi.

I’m Luna Bean.

Medical Alert Service Dog.
Certified Good Girl.
Professional Mama Supervisor.
Full-time ball goblin.
And, apparently…

Big Sister. Times two.

I have a lot of jobs.

Some of them are very serious.

I notice changes in Mama’s body. Migraines. Seizures. Heart rate spikes. Muscle spasms. The suspicious little shifts that tell me something isn’t right.

I alert.

I interrupt spirals.

I do Deep Pressure Therapy.

I retrieve things when Mama drops them.

I remind her when her body is being difficult.

And when Mama is being difficult too…

Well.

Sometimes I have to call for Mumther.

That’s what she’s there for.

Mama says I keep an eye on her.

I think Mama needs supervision.

There is a difference.

She gets stubborn. She says she’s fine. Sometimes she’s not.

So, I watch.

I listen.

I wait.

And when necessary, I do my job and help her through it.

Because that’s my Mama.

She’s my person.

But my world is bigger than Mama.

There’s M&M.

Mama #2.
Treat provider.
Belly rub specialist.
Bandana procurement officer.

In the spring, summer, and fall, she picks out my bandanas. When the weather gets cold, she finds sweaters for me and my baby brother.

She says we need to stay warm.

I allow this.

Mostly.

Especially now that it’s that time of the year again. Binka and I are wearing our bandanas, and soon we’ll start wearing sweaters outside. Then come the coats when it gets even colder, because nobody wants the puppies getting cold or suffering frostbite.

Mama doesn’t want to think about that yet.

She says it’s October, and right now we need to do October things instead of thinking about the fluffy white stuff.

I’m not even allowed to say the S word.

Binka doesn’t even know what it is yet.

Lucky him.

Then there’s the Yard Yeti.

BJ.

Mama’s little brother, even if he is the tallest creature in the house.

My best friend.

He throws my ball farther than anybody else.

This is an extremely important qualification.

He says, “Lulus!” every time he sees me.

Naturally, I respond with maximum bork.

Maximum boing.

Maximum tail.

This is also the law.

Then there’s the orange Jeep.

Mama’s Jeep.

My Jeep.

Okay, technically Mama’s Jeep.

But I am an important passenger.

I like car rides. I like going places. I like watching the world happen through the window.

And then…

There’s Blitzø.

My baby brother.

My Potato.

My giant spotted little cow.

He is learning.

I am teaching.

Sometimes I wrestle him. Sometimes I correct him. Sometimes I let him follow me around the yard.

Sometimes he touches my toys.

Sometimes he touches my ears.

Sometimes…

I need a break.

I am allowed to need a break.

But he’s Pack.

And he’s my baby brother.

So, I suppose…

I’ll keep him.

He has grown on me.

A little.

And now there’s also my kitten.

M&M’s kitten.

Castiel.

Cheddar Bay Biscuits.

Yes, he has multiple names. Apparently, this is how our family operates now.

He’s a bright silver tabby with a raccoon tail, massive ear furnishings, and a mysterious background that might involve Maine Coon or Norwegian Forest Cat. Whatever the fluff that means.

Mama says he’s a mystery.

I say he’s a kitten.

A very fluffy kitten.

And I love him very much.

We play together.

We sleep together.

We spend a lot of time together.

This Pack has changed.

It’s gotten bigger.

There are more paws. More people. More toys. More fur. More reasons to supervise everybody.

But there’s also more love.

And I like that.

A lot.

🐾 Luna’s Main Character Energy

Mama says I have “Main Character Energy.”

Whatever the fluff that means.

She says it a lot, usually when I’m doing something important.

Like supervising.

Or chasing my ball.

Or sitting dramatically in the middle of the room because everyone else is clearly doing something wrong.

Sometimes she looks at me with that particular face she gets when she’s thinking about a story.

I know that face.

There are apparently…

Plans.

Big ones.

Mama says some of them involve me.

She won’t tell me everything.

Which is rude.

But I’ve learned that when Mama starts saying things like “Someday…” and “I have an idea…” I should probably pay attention.

Because apparently…

I have Main Character Energy.

Whatever the fluff that means.

Personally, I think it means I’m very important.

Which is correct.

🐾

Most days around here are pretty quiet.

Sometimes we’re in Bed Jail™.

Sometimes we’re outside.

Sometimes we’re in the Jeep.

Sometimes I’m working.

Sometimes I’m playing.

And sometimes I’m chasing the ball for approximately the four hundredth time because apparently nobody else understands that this is my other purpose in life.

I am many things.

Service dog.
Big sister.
Daughter.
Adventure dog.
Jeep dog.
Ball goblin.
Snack enthusiast.
Professional Good Girl.

But most importantly…

I am Luna.

And this is my Friday.

Welcome back to the Lunatic Café.

🐾 On today’s menu: a very Luna kind of week.

💧 First Things First: Have You Had Your Water?

Hi! Hello!

It is ME, Luna Bean!

If you’ve made it this far, you already know what day it is and what we’re doing here.

It’s Friday, and on Fridays, I tell you what we’ve been up to.

Not just what Mama thinks you need to know.

Because I think there are things Mama likes to leave out sometimes.

She leaves out the alerts.

Especially the ones she likes to ignore.

The naps.

The treats.

The BOLL.

But first…

Have you had your water today?

And no, coffee doesn’t count.

Yes, coffee can be a very important part of a human’s day. I’m trying to learn how to respect that. I know Mama loves her coffee very much.

But humans also need water.

Mama likes to say that humans are basically houseplants with very complicated feelings.

And that means they need a lot of water.

Even if Mama doesn’t always listen to her own advice.

She likes to call Mama #2 a raisin.

A lot.

But to be fair, Mama #2 has two very nice Stanley cups. Both of which Mama got for a very good price at the Goodwill store. One is green tie-dye, and the other is Hello Kitty pink.

And she still doesn’t drink enough water.

The audacity.

Mama loves her anyway.

So don’t be like Mama #2.

Drink some water.

And make sure you eat something, even if it’s just a little something.

Don’t be like Mama about this, either.

Mama isn’t good at eating when it’s time to eat. Sometimes she’ll go all day without eating and only manage one meal.

It’s a really bad habit.

That’s why Mama #2 sometimes has to remind her to eat.

I think that’s part of what makes them a good team. Where one struggles, the other can help fill in the gaps.

Nobody is good at everything.

That’s why we have a Pack.

And speaking of our Pack…

We have had a WEEK.

🏚️ Monday Through Thursday: The Week That Would Not Behave

It’s been a very blah week at home.

Mama has been angry.

Not the little, grumble-under-your-breath kind of angry, either.

The kind where something needs fixing, somebody says they’ll handle it, and then absolutely nothing happens.

Mama’s uncle was supposed to fix something around the house. It didn’t go as planned. He didn’t fix it, or maybe he didn’t fix it properly. Then, when he should have answered his phone, he didn’t.

Mama spent days trying to get answers.

She even had to contact his friends, who kept making excuses for him.

The excuses stretched from Monday morning all the way to Thursday.

By the time Thursday rolled around…

Well.

Mama did what Mama does best when she’s had enough.

She put on her big ghoul boots, said “fuck” a lot, and fixed shit herself.

Without a box.

Without a receipt.

Without necessarily knowing what the fuck she was doing.

Because sometimes you can’t keep waiting for someone who says they’ll be there for you.

Sometimes the thing that needs doing can’t wait any longer.

Sometimes your family is waiting for you.

Your family needs you.

And sometimes Mama decides she’s going to figure it out, even if she has to swear her way through the entire process.

That’s just who Mama is.

And I love Mama.

But being the person who always figures it out can be exhausting.

Afterward, Mama wasn’t feeling good for the rest of the week.

Maybe it was burnout.

Maybe it was a flare-up.

Maybe it was the sheer amount of energy she’d spent trying to get everything sorted while still dealing with everything else life had thrown at her.

I don’t know.

I’m a dog.

I have opinions about many things, but I don’t have all the answers.

What I do know is that we spent a lot of time in Bed Jail™.

We watched television.

We rested.

We did what we could to make things a little easier.

And sometimes, that’s all you can do.

You don’t always get to bounce back immediately after something difficult happens.

Sometimes your body collects the bill after you’ve spent all your energy getting through the problem.

Mama knows that.

Even if she doesn’t always like it.

😈 Wednesday: Helluva Boss and the Great Spoiler Disaster

On Wednesday, Mama, Mama #2, and the Yard Yeti, got two new episodes of the show Mama named Binka after.

That’s right.

Helluva Boss.

And Mama and Mama #2 were NOT happy with how those episodes ended.

Mama says I am not allowed to give spoilers.

She isn’t giving any, either, because apparently, she’s a decent person who believes people should get to watch things for themselves.

Unlike certain people on TikTok.

Mama was already irritated because TikTok tried spoiling the episodes before she could watch them with BJ and Mama #2 on Wednesday night.

The episodes hadn’t even been out for twelve hours yet!

Twelve!

Hours!

Some people have no manners.

I don’t know why humans insist on telling everyone what happens in a show before they’ve had a chance to watch it.

If I get a new ball, I don’t immediately run around the neighborhood announcing every single thing about it.

I just play with the ball.

It’s not complicated.

Anyway, when Mama eventually writes her Bed Jail™ Broadcast about those episodes, I hope she’s had time to recover.

I cannot promise anything.

I am a dog, not a fortune-teller.

But I will be supervising the review.

Naturally.

🌧️ Thursday: Migraines, Yard Crimes, and a Little Self-Care

Thursday was a rough one.

Mama didn’t want to get out of bed.

The migraine arrived.

She wasn’t feeling good.

And then Binka decided to roll in something absolutely foul in the yard.

Because apparently being a giant spotted puppy wasn’t enough. He also needed to become a walking biohazard.

Now, here’s the thing.

Mama has been catching the neighbors throwing their dog’s poop over the fence again.

Again.

This isn’t the first time.

She’s been catching them doing it all week, and she’s not happy about it.

Understandably.

But she’s also trying to figure out how to make it stop without becoming the problem herself.

How exactly does one approach a neighbor and say, “Hey, could you please stop throwing your dog’s shit over my fence?” without the entire situation turning into a neighborhood feud?

That is the question.

I have no advice.

I would simply bark at the fence.

But apparently humans have rules about these things.

Then, somewhere in the middle of a migraine, a frustrating week, and everything else, Mama decided to dye her hair.

Was she suddenly feeling fantastic?

No.

Did her body magically stop being difficult?

Also no.

But she’d painted her nails to match Binka’s jester costume. Black and orange.

She had a scrunchie to match, too.

And she figured that if she dyed her hair, so it looked nice with the whole outfit, she’d feel a little better.

Do I understand this?

Not particularly.

But I am a dog who believes that rolling in mysterious substances is a recreational activity, so perhaps I’m not the right person to judge.

Sometimes humans do things that make them feel a little more like themselves.

Sometimes they paint their nails.

Sometimes they dye their hair.

Sometimes they put on a favorite outfit, even if they’re not going anywhere.

Sometimes they find one tiny thing they can control when everything else feels like it’s falling apart.

Mama calls that self-care.

And I think I understand that part.

You don’t always have to feel wonderful to do something kind for yourself.

You don’t have to wait until you’re having a good day to deserve a little comfort.

Sometimes you take the shower.

Sometimes you put on the clean clothes.

Sometimes you do your hair.

Sometimes you sit in bed with your favorite show and let the world wait a little while.

It doesn’t fix everything.

It doesn’t have to.

Sometimes feeling a little more like yourself is enough for now.

And if all you managed today was to get through today?

I’m proud of you.

Well.

Mama is proud of you.

I’m mostly proud when people throw my ball.

But I can make an exception.

🎃 Sunday Plans: Pumpkin Paws and a Little Halloween Chaos

Now, let’s talk about the good stuff!

Today, Mama and Mama #2 are at the food pantry, volunteering like they always do.

They love helping out, and they love seeing their friends there.

And that means Binka and I are home.

Hopefully, we’re being good dogs.

Mama and Mama #2 will find out when they get back.

For our sake, I hope we have been.

Because Sunday…

SUNDAY!

We have an event!

Doggy Trick or Treating!

We get to dress up, collect goodies, pose for pictures, and maybe make some doggy friends.

Do you know how exciting that is?

Because I do.

Binka is going to be a jester or a clown.

Which is fitting, because he is already a whole circus.

Mama is probably going to match him with her Pennywise the Clown sweater and Loungefly backpack. She might even do her makeup to match.

I think that would be pretty neat.

I’m going to be a pumpkin!

A PUMPKIN!

Mama might do Mama #2’s makeup to match me, and maybe she’ll wear orange.

Or maybe she’ll wear one of her cute fairy outfits, and then I can be her pumpkin while she gets to be a forest fairy.

Which would ALSO be very neat.

Honestly, I think everyone should coordinate their outfits around me.

But I suppose I’ll allow the others to have their moments, too.

I’m generous like that.

And if we’re lucky, the Yard Yeti might bring home a couple of pumpkins from the farmers market for Mama and Mama #2 to carve this weekend.

Then we could decorate the house!

More Halloween things!

More smells to investigate!

More opportunities to supervise people holding sharp objects!

I cannot wait.

I am very excited.

And now I have a question for YOU.

Do you have anything you’re looking forward to this weekend?

It doesn’t have to be a big event.

Maybe you’re seeing a friend.

Maybe you’re going somewhere you’ve wanted to visit.

Maybe you’re going to carve pumpkins, watch a movie, bake something, or take your dog on an adventure.

Maybe you’re looking forward to a quiet weekend with absolutely nobody asking anything of you.

That counts, too.

Tell us about it!

I want to hear what good things are waiting for you.

Because even when the week has been a bit of a disaster, there’s something lovely about having a little thing to look forward to.

And if you don’t have anything planned yet?

Maybe you can find one small thing just for you.

A favorite snack.

A walk outside.

A cozy blanket.

A good book.

A few minutes in the sunshine.

Or, if you’re anything like me…

A ball.

Preferably a tennis ball.

But I am willing to negotiate.

🌙🐾 Luna’s Closing Notes: You Are More Than Your Job

That’s all for this week’s takeover.

Thank you for sitting with me for a little while.

I know Mama talks about a lot of things around here.

Her body.

Her writing.

Her adventures.

Her recovery.

Her weird stories.

Her dogs.

Her life.

But I want you to know something.

This isn’t just Mama’s life anymore.

It’s ours.

Mine.

M&M’s.

BJ’s.

Blitzø’s.

Biscuits’.

And yours, too, if you’ve been sitting around the Den with us.

I have a job.

It’s an important one.

I watch Mama.

I alert when something is wrong.

I help her when her body stops cooperating.

I make sure she has support when she needs it.

But I also have a life.

I chase my ball.

I ride in the orange Jeep.

I supervise the yard.

I steal warm spots.

I wear the bandanas M&M picks out.

I wear sweaters when it’s cold.

I wrestle my baby brother.

I teach him things.

I tell him when he’s being rude.

I let him know when he’s allowed to follow me.

And sometimes…

I walk away because even Big Sisters need quiet time.

That’s okay, too.

I don’t have to be working every second to be important.

Neither do you.

Mama says I remind her of that.

Maybe she’s right.

Maybe that’s part of my job, too.

So, if this week was hard…

Rest.

If your body is tired…

Listen to it.

If you need help…

Ask.

If someone offers care…

You don’t have to earn it first.

And if someone needs you to take a step back, give them some room.

Love doesn’t mean you have to be available every second of every day.

Being a good sister doesn’t mean letting your little brother climb all over you when you’ve had enough.

Being a good human doesn’t mean fixing every problem, carrying every burden, or being the person who always figures everything out.

Sometimes you need a break.

Sometimes you need someone else to take over.

Sometimes you need to admit that you’re not fine and let somebody help you.

You are still worthy of love when you’re resting.

You are still important when you’re not productive.

You are still you when your body makes you slow down.

And if you had a good week?

Tell somebody.

Celebrate it.

Throw the ball.

Eat the snack.

Take the car ride.

Sit in the sunshine.

Do the thing that makes your tail wag.

Life isn’t only about getting through the difficult parts.

Sometimes it’s about noticing the good ones while they’re happening.

It’s about the people who show up.

The animals who make a house feel like home.

The small rituals that help you feel like yourself again.

The plans you’re excited about.

The moments when you catch yourself laughing after a week when you thought you might not have much laughter left.

The little things that remind you there’s still a life waiting for you outside the hard parts.

And trust me…

I am VERY good at noticing the good ones.

Especially if the good one involves a tennis ball.

So, drink your water.

Eat something.

Rest when you need to.

Let people love you.

And please, for the love of all things squeaky, remember that you do not have to earn your place in the Pack by being useful every second.

You’re allowed to just be here.

You’re allowed to enjoy your life.

You’re allowed to take up space.

And you’re allowed to have a good day, even if yesterday was terrible.

I’ll be here, doing my best to remind Mama of that, too.

One alert, one cuddle, one adventure, and approximately four hundred ball throws at a time.

Love you.

Now say it back.

🐾 Luna Bean
Medical Alert Service Dog, Big Sister, Ball Goblin & Professional Mama Supervisor

(On behalf of Mama)

🐾 Luna’s Official Weekly Report

Mama: Supervised. Still stubborn. Still loved.
Mumther: Fashionably prepared. Hydration status requires further investigation.
BJ: Excellent throwing arm. Best friend privileges maintained.
Blitzø: Still baby. Still learning. Still mine.
Biscuits: Fluffy. Adorable. Officially part of the Pack.
Orange Jeep: Approved.
Ball: Chased. Obviously.
Snacks: Investigated.
Cuddles: Accepted.
Bandanas: Seasonally appropriate.
Halloween plans: Highly promising.
Work: Completed.
Good Girl Status: Obviously.
Pack: Safe.
Den: Full.
Friday: Successful.

Until next Friday…

I’ll be here.

Watching.

Listening.

Playing.

Working.

Supervising.

And probably asking someone to throw my ball.

Love you!

Now say it back.

🐾🌙

The Crippled Cryptid

Disability. Honesty. A little chaos.

Absolutely dog fur, puppy wrestling, and Luna Bean attitude.

🔗 https://linktr.ee/skylanarissa

No pressure to donate. Reading and sharing count.

If you want to support the long, unglamorous work of survival and mobility:

💜 https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-skys-journey-to-health-and-mobility