Finding Faerieland.

Finding Faerieland.

Did you like the play on words up in the title?

Not only was I watching Finding Neverland earlier this morning but, it is one of my favorite movies, based on the 1988 play The Man Who Was Peter Pan by Allan Knee about the life of author J.M. Barrie.  The play itself is based upon an imaginary series of conversations between Barrie and the Llewelyn Davies boys, the family friends that inspired the playwright to write Peter Pan in the first place.

For those of you who haven’t seen the movie… first of all, you should seriously go watch it.  Finding Neverland is a charming account of the life of author J.M. Barrie, as stated above, and it follows the relationships and events that served for the basis of his most prominent and well-known work, Peter Pan.  After J.M. Barrie (played by Johnny Depp) forms a platonic relationship with Sylvia (played by Kate Winslet) and her four sons, he is then inspired to write a play about a group of children who don’t want to grow up.  Obviously, the work is a hit, and it later proves to bring Barrie and the children together in a way that no one had ever expected. 

So, since I’m an aspiring author myself, and because my current project is about Faeries, I thought it would be a fun play on words.  Because what little girl didn’t like Tinker Bell at one point?

Now, while I can’t say that I’ve recently met anyone whose inspired me to start working on a new project, I can say this.  My mother was a constant supporter of my writing, whether it meant going on long drives to places I wanted to see and found inspiring (Mount Horeb, Wisconsin- the Trollway) buying me books that she thought would help me out along the way (300 Ways to Begin Writing a Wonderful Story- Five Below) or anything else she thought to be supportive or inspiring somehow.  Now that she’s gone, however, I feel like I’ve taken the biggest step back from my writing that I ever have. 

The closest thing I’ve gotten to working on my project was signing up for July’s session of Camp NaNoWriMo and making an account on dabblewriter.com where I rewrote my first chapter, and then never touched it again.  After that first week, I fizzled out because, I don’t have the same connection with my characters as I did when I first started this project a couple of years ago.

At first, I blamed it on the depression that I have been going through.  I thought that maybe because losing my mom had come on so quickly and had hit me so hard that maybe that is what was stopping the creative juices from flowing.  That, or the fact that it kind of feels like my whole support system is gone now.  Or maybe it’s the fact that I feel like I’ve failed her and myself because, if I ever do publish a book, she won’t be here to see it, and that breaks my heart.

So, I’m going to try something new.

From now on, for the next couple of weeks, months, or even years- hell, as long as it takes to get this book written, I’m going to try something I saw on Pinterest.  A writer’s notebook.

Hopefully having a designated place to get my writing thoughts together will do me some good.  Will it be as pretty as some of the writer’s notebooks I’ve been stalking all over Pinterest?  Hell no.  Some of these people have such pretty handwriting, and in comparison, I have your typical chicken scratch but, that’s okay too.

It doesn’t need to be pretty so long as it works, right?  Right.

Meaning tonight, I have to go through all of my art supplies, notebooks, pens, sticky-notes, and everything else I could possibly need to make sure that I actually have what I need to do this.

That also probably means that tonight while I’m doing all of that, I’m going to reorder (and possibly redecorate, who knows) my desk, get it all in “fall mode” as I like to call it, and make sure my space is set up the way it needs to be so that I can actually get some damn writing done.  I’ve been pushing it off to the side for way too long.

Then, the magic can happen.

Which leads me to my last question of this post. 

Will I be doing NaNoWriMo in November?

I have absolutely no idea.  For now, I need to focus on going through what notes I have on my current project, and try to figure out what things need to stay, and what things I need to cut out and get rid of. 

I know, people say you should just write it all the way through the first time, and then go back and edit but… from where I’m standing I have almost 50 pages, and close to 50,000 words worth of content that just doesn’t work for me anymore.

It doesn’t work for me as a person.

It doesn’t work for me as an author.

It definitely wouldn’t please me as a reader.

And it’s time to start from square one, if I don’t, there’s no chance of me finishing this project ever.

-Sky