When superstition met stoneware.
You’ve probably heard of witches’ brews- after all, it’s nearly that time again when everything (including energy drinks- Alani, we see you) is calling itself “Witch’s Brew.” But what about witches’ bottles?
And before you think I’m hating on fall- you would be dead wrong, I live for the fall. It’s one of the only times of the year when I get to feel like myself. Crisp leaves, apples, everything cinnamon. I cannot wait.
These odd little talismans were once tucked into the walls, chimneys, and even under the hearthstones of houses across England and parts of Europe- and if you know where to look, even in some corners of the United States.
The idea was simple: trap a curse before it could reach you.
A witch bottle was usually a glazed ceramic jug or glass vessel, filled with a downright witchy assortment of ingredients- pins, nails, bits of hair, nail clippings, herbs, salt, and sometimes… urine. (Yes. Human urine. Nothing says “stay out of my house” quite like a bottle full of rust and piss.)
The liquid wasn’t for flavor- it was believed to act as a magical link to the person it was meant to protect. If a witch sent ill will their way, the bottle would “catch” the curse and trap it. Sometimes it was even heated in the fire to “torment” the spirit or spellcaster until they backed off.
Where They’ve Been Found:
- Inside 16th–18th century houses, hidden during renovations.
- Buried in gardens or near doorways as a ward against evil.
- Unearthed in colonial America, brought over by settlers.
- Even rural Illinois- ask me how I know. (Better yet, I’ll tell you- my grandmother was obsessed with witches. She even fancied herself to be one, and since she passed away in 2023 we’ve even found a few while doing landscaping.)
Folklore Meets Archaeology:
Witch bottles are a rare, tangible survival of folk magic. Unlike ghost stories or oral legends, they’re physical evidence that everyday people- from farmers to city folk- actively fought off supernatural threats in their daily lives. And maybe some who still do.
Would You Keep One If You Found It?
That’s the big question. Some say opening one can release whatever’s been trapped inside for centuries…
Personally, I don’t know. Some days I feel like I already have bad enough luck- between the ongoing Cursed Knee Saga™ (yes, still), migraines, and the constant nonsense chronic illness throws my way. But maybe- just maybe- a little more bad luck would cancel the rest out, like two negatives making a positive. Or maybe like some diabolical Uno Reverse card on steroids.
Probably best not to chance it though.
What do you think?
-Sky, The Crippled Cryptid.
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