Content Notes
This post discusses chronic illness, medical devices, falls, seizures, and accessibility tools used for personal safety.
No graphic detail, but please take care of yourself while reading.
Welcome Back to the Cryptid’s Den
This is The Crippled Cryptid.
A soft-lit corner of the internet where disability, chronic illness, service dogs, and everyday survival magic gather like familiar spirits who know when to sit quietly and when to laugh too loud.
If you’re new here: hi. I’m Sky.
Professional cryptid.
Unwilling amateur cyborg.
Medically interesting enough to make half my providers sigh when they open my chart. I sigh too. Often. Loudly.
I live in a haunted meat suit with a deeply suspicious warranty. I spend a lot of time in Bed Jail™. I am almost never alone thanks to my medical alert service dog, Luna. She is part guardian, part shadow, part stern little voice that says,
“Excuse me, Mama. Sit your ass down. Right now.”
And of course, there’s M&M. Never far. Always there with the 90 percent when I only have 10 to give.
This space has always been about showing up for ourselves even when our bodies refuse to cooperate.
Chronic illness without inspiration porn.
Disability without apologies.
Love without pretending it’s always easy.
Returning cryptids: welcome home.
New cryptids: pull up a chair.
Welcome to the Lunatic Café. The Den is big enough for all of us.
On Today’s Menu: Apple Watch, Day One
This is one of those half-serious posts that I love, if I’m being honest.
The kind where people who knew me before– before my health declined to where it is now- are probably clutching their pearls.
Because this cannot be the same Skyla.
The one who swore she would never own an iPhone, iPad, or Apple Watch.
The one who loved Samsung and said Apple products weren’t for her.
And maybe that’s true. Maybe I’m not the same person I was back then.
There’s no hate toward Samsung. I loved those products for a long time. I loved them enough to write an entire post comparing Samsung and Apple, especially when it comes to accessibility features for disabled and chronically ill bodies.
Bodies like mine.
The ones that refuse to be ignored.
Even when we would very much like to ignore them.
Because here’s the truth: our needs can be inconvenient sometimes.
That isn’t self-hatred.
That isn’t internalized ableism.
That’s honesty.
The world is not always built with disabled people in mind.
So this is what day one looked like for me, as a reluctant cyborg with an Apple Watch Series 7 on her wrist.
What You Should Know Before We Start
I Didn’t Buy It New
I wish that had been an option. Truly.
Everything Series 9 and newer has features like sleep apnea detection and hypertension tracking, but spending $500+ on something I didn’t know I could even tolerate was off the table.
If you’re new here, I have MCAS. That’s been a part of my story since 2007 and I was reacting to everything and everything.
Back in 2023 I tried a Fitbit, and the light from the sensor burned my skin. Not metaphorically. Literally. I couldn’t wear it at all.
So, expectations were cautious at best.
I found this Apple Watch on eBay for $20 in an auction.
It didn’t come with a charger. I grabbed one on Amazon for $10 using leftover return credit. No big deal. The charger also works for my phone, iPad, and laptop, so it wouldn’t be wasted even if the watch didn’t pan out.
I also spent $15 on a new band.
The watch came with a taupe silicone band. My body and silicone are not friends. We did not test that boundary. It’s something that I might keep around for summer and if we go to the pool though.
Instead, I chose a reddish-brown leather wrap band. It looks like something you’d see in a dystopian survival series, which feels fitting considering M&M and I have been deep into See, Silo, PLUR1BUS, and Invasion lately.
If my medical gear doesn’t look post-apocalyptic, what are we even doing?
I Went In With Minimal Expectations
I’ve been here before.
Fitbit.
Amazfit.
All attempts that failed my skin before, during, and after Xolair, when my MCAS was theoretically supposed to be behaving.
Spoiler: it rarely does.
So no, I wasn’t about to spend a ton of money on something I might not be able to use.
If this didn’t work, it could be resold. Or handed down to M&M to replace her Fitbit Versa. She, very wisely, told me not to plan its funeral before it survived a full day.
I just like contingency plans.
So… What Do I Think?
I have thoughts.
1. Setup Was Shockingly Easy
I opened the app, scanned a thing, and it paired almost instantly.
The hardest part was choosing a watch face.
We landed on two or three so I can rotate when my brain demands novelty. Currently I’m using the lunar calendar face, paired with orange accent colors. One of my favorite colors, easy to see, and already the accent color on my phone.
Very me.
2. Apple Health Integration Was Seamless
Truly seamless.
The most confusing part was finding the ECG app and learning how to use it. After that, it was just a matter of:
- Turning on fall detection
- Adjusting emergency SOS so I don’t accidentally summon help
- Setting high and low heart rate alerts
I’m not using this as a fitness tracker.
This is a life alert button with better vibes.
You know the commercials from the 90s.
“Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”
That’s the intended purpose- not just a fancy bauble.
Because if Luna isn’t with me, or my phone isn’t nearby, I can still call for help.
That matters.
3. Charging Time: A+
When I unboxed it, the watch was at 50 percent. After setup, 46 percent.
I dyed my hair, took a shower, and by the time I was dressed again, it was at 100 percent.
Fifteen minutes.
That’s not charging. That’s sorcery.
I don’t know what the long-term battery life will be yet, but I’m hopeful.
4. The Display Is Beautiful
The display is genuinely lovely.
I can increase text size.
Boost contrast.
Customize faces and features.
And most importantly, I can turn off workout prompts.
If you’ve read my earlier post about Apple accessibility, you already know how much this matters to me.
Fitbit constantly told me to stand, move, do more.
Apple lets me say: no thank you.
As someone with MCAS, EDS, PKD, migraines, and the rest of my alphabet soup, those reminders don’t motivate me.
They spiral me.
They whisper:
You’re not enough.
You’re not doing enough.
You’re failing.
No one needs that.
There are not enough smart devices built with medically fragile and disabled people in mind. So having these features, and being able to turn them on or off, matters.
A lot.
5. The Band Connection Surprised Me
I didn’t know how the bands attached.
M&M slid it in, said it was easy, then paused and said I’d need to be careful or it could fall out.
Seconds later she realized it was magnetized.
It doesn’t come out unless you want it to.
Which is excellent news if you’re a fall risk.
Or someone who has seizures.
Like me.
6. Water Lock and Water Ejection
This one delighted me.
The watch locks when exposed to water, then vibrates and plays sound to eject water afterward.
I didn’t know that was a thing.
It’s a small feature, but it feels thoughtful.
Final Thoughts (For Now)
I’m sure I’ll discover more features as I spend time with it. It’s only been a few hours.
But so far?
I’m cautiously impressed.
If you’re disabled or chronically ill and use an Apple Watch, I’d love to know:
What apps do you use?
What features help you survive your days?
And for anyone wondering: Luna does not care.
She sniffed it. Tried to lick it. Decided it was boring. She already knows M&M wears a Fitbit, so I think she’s filed this under “same thing, different band.”
Love you. Now say it back.
-Sky
© The Crippled Cryptid
Disability, honesty, and a little chaos.
If you’re here, you belong here.
If today was heavy, thank you for carrying it with me.
If you’re reading from Bed Jail™, give your service dog an extra scritch for me. 🐾
🔗 https://linktr.ee/skylanarissa
There’s never pressure to donate. Reading, sharing, or simply staying is more than enough.
But if you’d like to support my ongoing journey toward health, stability, and mobility, you can do so here:
💜 https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-skys-journey-to-health-and-mobility
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